Stuff

My entire life I liked to hold onto my stuff. Clothes in the closet that haven't been worn in a year, toys that are so high on shelves that nobody ever plays with them, so many socks that I can't even close the sock drawer. I have this fear that at some time I am going to want or use it.

A couple of months ago I realized it is really hard for me to give away things and realized I wanted to change. I wanted to be able to give of my material possessions and not have this hoarding mentality to hold onto them because they would make me happy, I needed them or because it increased the amount of "stuff" that I have.

So I started to consciously make a really huge effort to look and pray and seek opportunities to give and it was REALLY hard. I gave away all of my boy clothes to a friend which made me so happy, yet made me sad/anxiety for days. What if I have a boy again? What if I want something to remind me of Tyler and Scott? What if....

I told my friends how hard this was for me and they encouraged me. They told me I was normal. I recognized some people really struggle with this while others freely give and it makes them happy. One friend had a roommate who moved and a year later decided to toss a box full of her things without even looking inside realizing that if she didn't use it in a year she really didn't need it. Extreme point, but so true. Don't think I could do that.

I repeated this again and again over a couple month period and this past weekend I cleaned out the kids room. I filled about 4 giant boxes of some of their treasures. Things that they at one point loved or would love but have too many things.

I thought about selling the stuff, giving it to friends, sending it off to family and knew that ultimately I wanted to just fill the car and drop it off at DI (Salvation Army for the Church). We drove there and luckily found friends with keys who opened up the parking lot and the trailer to drop off our stuff.

I came home and felt soo happy!!! I did it and in the process an absolute miracle happened.

I started the process because I realized I needed to be more charitable. That holding onto my stuff and my possessions was not a great quality to have. The true miracle is that I don't need to hold onto anything anymore. I no longer debate in my head if I should keep something that has little use or brings little happiness, I just toss it. No questioning in my head if I will want it in a year from now. I totally recognize that a clutter free house is way more important, I can always get it if and when I need it and there are so many other people or kids that can and will use whatever we don't need.

It feels so good! It feels good that the boys have more room to play, that my clothes aren't cluttered and I can get rid of things. That I am happy to get rid of things. It now brings me happiness instead of anxiety and I LOVE THAT!! It is so liberating. It has truly increased my joy and a life lesson that I am so grateful I spent the time to work on and overcome. I would highly recommend doing this to anyone who might like holding on to things. Uncluttered homes are wonderful!!!