Carl's burial

The ceremony and burial were perfect!! My family, Danny's family, Betty and Bob, the Pentlands and the Bains (our bishop) were all there to celebrate the life of Baby Carl. It a perfect, simple ceremony to honor and remember our little boy. A prayer was said, I said a little something and the Bishop dedicated the grave. This is what I said at the funeral.

From the beginning of this pregnancy I often heard the gentle voice of the Lord reassuring me that this baby is a baby of hope. These words would come very clearly and softly during prayer and throughout the day. As test results came in and showed major neurological problems, I started to understand what having a baby of hope really meant.

It meant having hope in the Lord, his plan, atonement, resurrection, and the temple covenants we have made and ultimately hope in eternal life possible through Jesus Christ. President Uchdorf, a living apostle says, “If only we could look beyond the horizon of mortality into what awaits us beyond this life. And what kind of existence can we hope for? Those who come unto Christ, repent of their sins, and live in faith will reside forever in peace. Think of the worth of this eternal gift. Surrounded by those we love, we will know the meaning of ultimate joy as we progress in knowledge and in happiness. Because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations.

Some have questioned why we have been dealt so many trials in the past two years. Tyler with half a heart and Carl whose brain simply couldn’t sustain life. No one will ever have exact answers; however, one thing is certain. We do know the Lord has higher purposes to serve. We walk in faith and recognize to the Lord “Thy will be done.” We have been grateful for Tyler and his heart and now are grateful for Carl, our baby who will bring us and others hope each and every day of the reality and power of Christ.”

Carl’s mission is indeed one of hope. His journey was so short in this mortal life. Long enough to gain a body, yet short enough to not suffer. He blessed and changed our lives forever on Christmas day. I know his birthday was no coincidence, for his mission is to testify of the power, reality and hope of Jesus Christ. Carl’s short life has already blessed countless people, including ours.

One friend wrote. Thank you for sharing Carl’s life with us. He has helped remind me to never take loved ones and God's blessing for granted. I am now more compassionate. Thank you Carl for your little life that has left a big impression on me. His itty bitty foot is perfect and he is a Christmas blessing to all of us! He is a reminder of the bigger and greater gifts we all receive because of our Savior Jesus Christ and that is the gift of ETERNAL life.”

Another writes, “I have been so strengthened by baby Carl’s story. Thank you for giving me hope in my own life.”

Someone else writes, “The words of faith have helped me regain my own faith in God that I feel have questioned lately. You and your family have truly given me hope. I just wanted you to know that you are silently helping others.”

These are just a few of the people who have been blessed with hope and faith by this amazing little boy. A little boy who none of us have yet had the opportunity to meet in the flesh, but who so many have been blessed and strengthened from.

My mission president and his wife, who I love dearly and who is now serving as a member of the 1^st quorum of the 70 wrote this to us about Baby Carl.

Dear Heidi and Danny

I just wanted to write and tell you how saddened I have been over the loss of your baby. We have been so impressed with your amazing faith over the past few years and are so proud of who you are. I know how difficult and lonely it is for you. I pray for the comforter to be with you and help you understand more fully the great things that you have to look forward to. I know God’s plan of happiness is real and that you will have your little Carl Lavar with you again and you will be able to watch him grow in a much better world, that will be free of the pain and suffering that our present earthly life offers.

Joseph Smith said , “The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, the sorrows of evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning, we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again . . . “ (History of the Church, 4:553-54: from a discourse given by Joseph Smith on Mar. 20, 1843, in Nauvoo, Illinois).

There is no doubt in my mind that Carl is a celestial spirit who only needed to receive his body to complete his mission here on earth. You were entrusted with a little child who already proved himself in the pre-mortal life. Can you imagine how good he must have always been? I can't help but think how good his parents are and have always been as well. I know that little Carl was very blessed to belong to your family and have two parents who love the Lord and His gospel and are committed to each other and to the covenants they have made. I am sure that he is proud of you. It is not a coincidence that you were blessed to be the parents of such a valiant spirit.

Joseph Smith said on another occasion,” Will mothers have their children in eternity?” Yes! Yes! Mothers, you shall have your children, for they shall have eternal life, for their debt is paid. Children must rise and just as they died; we can there hail our lovely infants with the same glory – the same loveliness in the celestial glory.” (History of the Church 6:366).

I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet. His words are true. You can count on them.

We pray that you will feel the loving comfort that we recognize so well. That your burdens will be made light. That you will feel the love our Heavenly Father has for you and that your testimony of His plan will only become stronger. We love you. If we can ever do anything to help. Please let us know.

With lots of love, Lynette and Shayne Bowen

I have felt the loving comfort of my Heavenly Father. I have experienced his tender mercies. Carl gave us the greatest Christmas gift that one could ever receive. A reminder of the true blessing of Christmas. A reminder that long ago there was a boy born in Bethlehem who provided eternal life to all. Over 2000 years later, our son was blessed to share his birthday and remind us of the miracle and hope of Christ’s birth. When Carl was born, Danny and I were blessed to feel his presence and hear his sweet words. Calling us mom and dad he reminded us that he was in a better place, that he loved us very much and that he would see us soon. He is our baby of hope who we love so very much. We miss you baby Carl and can’t wait to see you again and have the opportunity to meet the amazing person that you are. We know you are in a better place surrounded by loved ones. We feel privileged and honored to have you in our lives and family. We know that you will continue to be a ministering angle to so many. We love you so very much, our baby of hope.

The dedication of the grave is a priesthood ordinance done under the authority of the Melchizedek priesthood, which we feel has been restored to the earth. The bishop dedicated the gravesite to be protected and a resting place for Carl's body until the resurrection. We feel that when we die the spirit leaves the body until the resurrection, provided to all through Christ, until the second resurrection. The bishop blessed the area that it would be a place of peace for those that came and visit. It was the perfect prayer and one of peace and hope.

The ceremony was about 15 minutes and we all congregated and had the chance to mingle afterwards. Scott wanted to give Carl a teddy bear which was so cute. He wanted to open the casket to give it to him, but we just placed it on top. Danny left him with a little motorcycle which will be in the vault. It was an emotional day. I felt a lot of peace. I love where he was buried. It is a sacred place for my family. It is an area of just children and babies. It has a special spirit there. I have a different feeling about cemeteries now. I feel peace there, I have a spiritual closeness that I didn't necessarily feel until this time in my life. I don't know if it is having this experience of what caused this change in me. I watched Scott and his friend walk and run through the grass, surrounded by balloons and flowers that people had left for loved ones and it brought me peace and joy. I imagine these spirits having added joy in the happiness and love of little children.

My family is just starting to find and add traditions to Christmas. One that I look forward to is visiting the grave site of Baby Carl and remembering what is possible for my family and all because of Christmas. I love that our children here on earth will be able to learn and grow from this experience. I love that he was born on Christmas. It was a true tender mercies of the Lord. He is so often aware of what brings us added joy and peace. Reminders that he is aware of our needs.

There are emotions that you can't fully put into words of going through this experience that I cherish and feel very blessed by. It is a day that your mortal body feels sadness from not having your child with you anymore but one filled with peace of an assurance that he is in a better place. There is something special about having an angel child. You have a constant reminder of what you are living and striving for. I feel a closeness to the Lord that I hope will stay with me. I know it will stay with me as I remember the feelings that I felt this day.