Journey as an Associate

Danny had been an associate for four years. It has been quite an experience. In dental school there are a couple of routes people can take.

You can associate, specialize or be in the military after school.

Danny envisioned himself as a general dentist. He loves working with people, loves doing a variety of things and feels he is good at what he does.

The first year out Danny was blessed to work with two amazing mentors who were great dentists, teachers, role models and so much more.

After a year, Danny left one of the practices, realizing he didn't envision himself buying the practice, and had a couple of jobs that were interesting to say the least.

His first job was at a failing practice with no work and a boss who was in school to specialize. Danny realized that he actually did LOVE working on teeth. He was so bored not doing much dentistry and eventually left.

His second was with a dentist who asked Danny to do things he didn't feel comfortable with. Danny realized his ethics were more important than a job and left.

The third was at an HMO practice, which was a whole new world for Danny. It was fast-paced and perfect for what he needed at the time. Danny's boss owned another practice, so Danny quickly saw a business grow, had to gain speed and confidence as the only dentist. It was here that he really learned how to do dentistry.

While the first two jobs weren't the ideal situations, Danny learned invaluable lessons at each experience that helped mold him into the person and dentist he is today. At the time we perhaps didn't see the blessing, but looking back are so grateful for those experiences. His journey is perhaps more colorful than others, however, has helped him gain experience and really appreciate things that he might have taken for granted.

In the past year or so Danny has grown to love doing root canals. About 5 months ago an opportunity arose for him to do more root canals. A dentist was leaving for a month and Danny planned on being the temporary dentist leading to an associate position when he returned. Things were great. Danny was doing well, the staff got along, he felt really blessed for this opportunity. When the dentist returned, things slowed down a bit and there really wasn't enough work for two dentists. Danny went into work on Monday excited about two root canals on the schedule, having completed one in 30 minutes on Friday, only to be sat down and told that he was being let go.

This was the first time in four years that Danny had been flat out let go. It was quite a shock and so humbling. One minute you have a job that you love and the next it is gone. I went to a bible study the following day and something stuck out in my mind from the lecture.

We were talking about the Assyrians destruction. People obey God, prosper, forget God and are humbled. The Assyrians thought they were so powerful they didn't need God. He soon showed them that he was more powerful than all and took away their riches in hopes that they would return to him. I am fully aware that not all things happen out of unbelief. We have endured some of the hardest things in our life during the times when I was very close to the Lord, however, I think that trials can always be faith promoting in one way or another. The question asked was,

"Do you find purpose in your suffering?"

How simple, yet profound!! We all suffer in different ways. We can suffer because of health, depression, hating a job, not having a job, marital problems, loosing a loved one, not being able to have children, not being married, having a hard time in school, not receiving an award or raise, and so much more. The list is endless and everyone has a very unique and tailored list. The question is, do we go through these times in misery and pain or do we try to find purpose along the way?

I just read a book this morning while Tyler and Scott were at school. Before My Heart Stops: A Memoir by Paul Cardall. Paul has a similar heart condition to Tyler. He has a single ventricle and is one of the oldest patients, in his 30's, that is still alive with this condition. It was interesting to re-read much of his story from his marriage, family, growing up years and recently his journey waiting for a heart and receiving a heart.

Through it all, he and his family had various trials and setbacks. Some health related and others not. One thing was certain throughout the book. Paul found purpose in his suffering. His heart allowed him to cherish and see life in a new light. He not only went through his journey with faith, but found ways to embrace his journey and see the blessings and opportunities that came from it.

I recognize that Danny loosing his job can have purpose.

On Monday we were both pretty sad and depressed. Danny loves going to work, working on teeth and I have a routine of being home. I felt so bad for Danny. It wasn't a good day for anyone. We were both uncertain what the future had in store and therefore stressed about it. I seem to take my stress out of Danny which is the last thing that he needs.

That night we decided to fast and it made things much better and allowed us to see some purpose in this suffering. We were able to feel a glimpse of what so many people and so many friends are going through with loosing a job or being uncertain about the future.

Perspective. Putting things in perspective helps. While financial stress is a hard, there are far greater stresses. I have a strong marriage, wonderful family, amazing friends and support system, wonderful medical care for my son. In the eternal realm, this isn't that big of deal. I do need to work on treating it as such. Much easier said than done.

Opportunity. We sent out ten resumes and Danny has been offered working interviews at a couple places. What a blessing. We have hope that he will be led and find something that is right and fulfilling for him.

Empathy. Have you recently talked to someone who is out of work and felt bad and sad for them, but not fully understand the stress. While Danny still has part-time work and we can't fully comprehend the stresses of total unemployment or unemployment in a field that has been hit really hard by the economy, we understand a little bit more and thus can hopefully be better at helping and lifting others.

Time. Making the most of time. Someone last year was in my bible study because she was laid off. While she was still pursuing work, she filled her time with good things. Another friend that was laid off does a lot of volunteer work. Danny is working on some research papers that he will be able to dedicate more time to, has young kids who love the influence and example of their dad in their lives and is interested in voice-over which he can find out more about.

So I am going to be a little more grateful, working on finding the purpose in the suffering and lifting my husband more than I have been. What a process this whole "life" experience is.