Friday, April 17, 2009

Please Contribute Stories of HOPE!!

As many of you know I am writing a book entitled Children of Hope. It is about how disabilities, illness, infertility or accident can often lead a family from devastation and heartache to hope, love and ultimately peace in Christ, the true Child of Hope. I want this to bring hope and peace to parents and families facing a similar struggles. The book will be divided into small chapters representing each child of hope. If you are an adult and would like to contribute your story that would also be great!! I would love to hear from you! Please feel free to pass this onto anyone who has been a testament of hope to you!! Thanks for your help. I have heard from some amazing people and excited to continue hearing from others. If you have questions or comments contact me at childofhope1@gmail.com.

Here are two examples that I wrote about my children to give you an idea of the book:

Tyler Anthony McMillan, HLHS, September 4, 2007

From adolescence, I dreamed of someday being a mother and blessing my children with all the world could offer. My dream became a reality when my husband and I welcomed Scott, a beautiful, healthy boy into our family.

Nineteen months later, we were blessed with a second son, however, this time it was different. Many of our initial hopes and dreams to have a healthy child were stripped from him before he was even born. Tyler was pre-diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, a severe heart condition. We were given little hope for our son, encouraged to terminate the pregnancy, and told that his heart couldn’t be fixed.

He would undergo three open-heart surgeries before age four and an eventual heart transplant. Amidst pain and heartache, we turned to the Lord. Our ward was wonderful during this time and desired to fast for our family and unborn son. Although we had no doubt in the Lord’s ability to heal his heart, we felt this wasn’t His will and shouldn’t be requested.

Instead, we prayed and fasted for clarity and understanding. The answer came in quiet reflection at the temple that his heart would be a heart to heal, a heart to teach and a heart to love. His eternal mission was coming into view and we were beginning to understand his divine mission. We knew that our son had chosen this mission and felt privileged to be a part of it.

The first months of life weren’t easy. He underwent two open-heart surgeries, had one cardiac arrest when his heart stopped, and had severe liver problems causing heart-wrenching pain. Amidst his fragile health, hospital stays and uncertain life-span, I came to realize that many of my initial hopes and dreams as a mother were being replaced with far greater ones.

I learned to treasure motherhood to its fullest rejoicing in the small moments and miracles of life. Each day with my son was seen as a wonderful gift. Once expected milestones such as babbling, crawling and walking became small miracles for Tyler. Tyler taught hundreds about the peace and hope found in Christ. He taught my family about the importance of being sealed for time and all eternity. I know his heart was hand-crafted by a loving Heavenly Father that will help mold him into the person that he will oneday become. It is part of his very special mission to ultimatley teach, love and give hope through Christ.

Carl Lavar, Arachnoid Cyct, Stillborn December 25, 2008

When Tyler, our heart baby turned one, we were excited to find out we pregnant with our third child. Throug the early stages of pregnancy I often heard the gentle whisperings of the spirit that this was a “child of hope.” For months, I interpreted these feelings as having a healthy child, free from the worry and pain that Tyler was asked to endure. Every time I heard this gentle reassurance from the spirit, I grew in faith and felt that everything would be alright.

As prenatal testing indicated major neurological problems with our third son, an unknown life expectancy and poor quality of life, it became evident that my interpretation of ‘a child of hope’ differed from the Lord’s.Proverbs 3:5-6 came to my mind. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." I knew I needed to seek the Lord instead of my own understanding. It wasn’t until I began to seek with spiritual eyes, pondering the words of scripture and prophets that I began to understand the true meaning of a child of hope.

The scriptures often speak of hope as anticipation of eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ. Moroni 7:41 reads, “And what is it that ye shall ahope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life ceternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.”

When I read this, the Lord filled me with a greater understanding and hope of His will. I knew that whatever the health of our child or number of days we were blessed to have him, we would have hope in Christ, the resurrection and eternal life and families.

Carl, my baby of hope, was born stillborn on Christmas morning which was the ultimate testament of his mortal mission as a child of hope. What a marvelous birthday to share than that of our Savior, the true Child of Hope. The morning of his birth, we held our sweet angel, knowing he was in a better place, free from the pain and heartache of this world because of a child born over 2,000 years ago that gave His life so we might have ours. He is a reminder of the bigger and greater gift we receive because of our Savior Jesus Christ and that is the gift of eternal life.

I miss Carl, but recognize and rejoice that the Lord has blessed me with all the hopes and dreams a mother could possibly desire. Joseph Smith said, "The Lord takies many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, the sorrows of evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning, we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil and we shall soon have them again..." (History of the church, 4:553-54 from a discourse given by Joseph Smith on Mar. 20, 1843 in Nauvoo, Ill.)

I hoped that he would not have to suffer in this life, which he didn’t. I hoped that he would be blessed with a marvelous life, which he has. I hoped that he would fill me with love, happiness and joy which he does. He is a daily reminder of living life with hope in Christ. When things don't go as expected, we can remain hopeful in a greater plan, find peace in a loving Lord and rejoice in the resurrection to be reunited with our loved ones.

Carl's short life taught me to rejoice in the eternal plan and hope of Jesus Christ. I have no doubt that I will see Carl again. I have no doubt that I will have the opportunity to raise him. Some might not consider him the perfect child, but in and through Christ he is. All children, no matter their health or circumstance are truly children of hope. They are sent into our family with a divine mission and plan. When we seek the Lord for understanding, help and clarity, He will bless us with greater hope than we ever envisioned.

3 comments:

The INCREDIBLE Pettit's said...

WOW,that sounds great... I will have to put something together for you. You are an amazing woman with an amazing talent.

liz said...

awesome heidi! this is going to be so great.

Robyn said...

heidi, what a special gift carl is! i had heard about your pregnancy with carl but didn't know you had delivered him. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you continue on this journey. if i can put my thoughts and feelings into words, i would love to contribute to your stories of hope. i delivered our sweet triplet boys, in december also, and they were all called back. you are doing a great work here, heidi!
robyn ross

Danny's Birthday

We went to Monterey again for Danny's birthday and lucked out with amazing weather.  Blake was pretty difficult last time we went so Gle...