2009 Church Talk

I am grateful to speak today.  I decided to speak on how to ensure our new years resolutions can add joy and happiness to our lives. As I have come to know our Savior, I have come to know that he wants and has prepared a way for us to be happy and enjoy the journey of life.

  

Much of my talk is from Elder Wirthlins article "lessons learned in the journey of life".  He recalled a Christmas Eve on his mission in Germany saying,

"That year as Christmas Day approached, my companion and I decided to take a walk and talked of our hopes and dreams. We talked of our goals and what we wanted to have happen in our lives.

I committed that night that I would not waste my time. I would renew my efforts to serve the Lord. I made up my mind that I would magnify any callings I received in the Lord’s kingdom.  That was also the evening I made up my mind about the type of person whom I would marry.

Six decades have intervened since that Christmas Eve in Oberndorf when I made those resolutions. Much has happened in the intervening years.

After 80 years of living, I’ve begun to pick up a few ideas about what it is that makes people happy and successful. I’d like to tell you five things that, if you will take them seriously and apply them to your own life, will bring you happiness, success, fulfillment, and the obtaining of an inheritance in the celestial kingdom.”

The First key to a happy and fulfilled life is to have faith in a loving Heavenly Father. 

Since I joined the church ten years ago, I have come to know without a doubt that Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be joyful. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 has been a scripture that has helped increase my understanding of how to find happiness through the journey of life that includes numerous peaks and valleys.  

It reads, "Trust in the Lord with all thine bheart; and lean not unto thine cown dunderstanding.  In all thy ways aacknowledge him, and he shall bdirect thy cpaths."

We can all make our resolutions and envision what we want today, tomorrow or this next year to include.  However, I think we all know that life doesn't always go as planned.  In those times, when we lean on the Lord for understanding we can find peace in the Lords wisdom and plan, which is often a greater plan than our own.

Ten years ago, when I was 17 and awaiting to be baptized, I received opposition from family and friends and at times felt very alone.  It was than that I learned to trust in the Lord and allow him to guide my life.  I quickly learned that following the Lord doesn't always mean that we will have the the easiest path, but it will be the path with the most fulfillment, growth and internal happiness. I have strived to make this trust in the Lord the driving force of my decisions and root of my happiness.

There have been countless instances in the past ten years, both big and small, in which my faith and the spirit has guided my decisions and thus increased my happiness and joy. When I was a senior in college I was blessed with scholarships to any college I desired.  Amidst the world thinking the stanfords or harvards were the best schools to attend, I felt a church school would be the best experience and fit for me.  Answers to prayer helped me lean on the Lords wisdom instead of the worlds which turned out to be the perfect college and faith promoting experience for me.   

A second decision that changed my life occured two months before turning 21. I happened to be at a conference swim meet. Life was great, I was captain of our team, loved school, loved my social life, had broken records the first day of the meet and was excited for the remaining days. Life was going exactly as planned and I was working hard and acheiving my new years resolutions.  That night, unable to sleep, I felt I should read the scriptures again.  I opened to D&C 31:2-4, which read,

  2 Behold, you have had many afflictions because of your family; nevertheless, I will bless you and your afamily, yea, your little ones; and the day cometh that they will believe and know the truth and be one with you in my church.

  

3 Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare aglad tidings of great joy unto this generation.

  4 You shall adeclare the things which have been revealed to my servant, Joseph Smith, Jun. You shall begin to preach from this time forth, yea, to reap in the field which is bwhite already to be burned.

As I read, I knew the Lord was speaking directly to me.  I knew I was to serve a mission.  I knew that this revelation had been given to me in the Lords perfect timing.  He taught me that night that sometimes life doesn't go as planned, we will be asked to leave a comfortable life to follow him, and worldly accomplishments are simply that, worldy accomplishments. I was aware that he knew my circumstances and perfect timing for my mission.  That was the best decision of my life.  My mission forever changed and blessed my life beyond comprehension.  It is now easier for me to be able to serve the Lord when it might not be so convenient for me.  

Attending BYU and serving a mission were not in my New Years Resolutions or any resolution by that matter.  However, having faith in the Lord and listening and acting upon his promptings more closely was a goal I have each time I pray, seek the atonement, prepare for the sacrament and reflect on my progress.  I think it is important to write down goals, make lists, write in a journal or do whatever it is that helps us track our progress and strive for greater heights, as long as we are willing to adjust those goals as dictated by the Lord.  If my goals had remained going to Stanford to swim on an elite team or finishing school in four years, I would have missed out on two of the greatest, faith promoting and life altering blessings in my life. That is why having faith in the Lord needs to be at the top of our priorities as we ponder this new year.  

Elder Wirthlin's second key to happiness as we sojourn in life is to set righteous goals.  He says, "Many things will compete for your attention as you pursue your course through life. There will be endless distractions. People and things will call to you, singing the siren songs of wealth, pleasure, and power. Of course, when applied to righteous ends, these methods may be of great worth. The problem is that in most cases this search leads to a place that may seem at first glance to be desirable, but the closer you get, the more you see it for what it is."

One experience that I will never forget occured when I was 2 months pregnant with Scott, our first son.  I was in commercial sales while Danny was finishing up dental school.  Out of the blue, within a week three people contacted me to pursue various job opportunties.  One of those jobs was a very high paying and pretigious medical sales job.  I went on the interviews, and against all odds and experience got the job.  Not feeling so great about pursuing such a career with a newborn, I told the company it was probably not a great fit since I was pregnant. To my dismay the company tried to change my mind and work with my needs. The opportunity to work there was a decision I wish the Lord had taken from me, but in his infinite wisdom allowed me to make.  I knew that the only thing right for me and my family was to decline the offer. It was one of the best decisions that I have made and taught me valuable life lessons.

While the Lord wants us to provide for our family the best we can and pursue righteous goals, it is important we remember our priorities, recognize how and what he wants us to provide for them and heed the promptings of the spirit.   Sometimes the world makes us believe blessings come in the form of wealth and prestige.  While they can be in those forms, there are countless forms of success; spiritual growth, family unity and time as well as peace are just some of the most cherished and meaningful blessings my family enjoys as we strive to find balance in our work, family, hobbies and church pursuits.  

Third, Elder Wirthlin says, once you have established righteous goals, work with all your might to accomplish them. In the words of Elder David O. McKay: “Let us … realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, that love to work is success.” 

It is important that we seek opportunities to work in our profession, community, family and church.  As we do so, our lives and the lives of others will be blessed both spiritually and temporally.

One of the hardest working men I know was on my mission.  Archie had migrated from the Phillipines to Barcelona in search for a better life.  He worked long days as a chef and in his little spare time accompanied the missionaries serving others.  He literally gave all that he had, both of his time, service and humble means to bless the lives of others and along the way was richly blessed. 

While we are usually not asked to give all that we have, we are asked to give back a tenth to the Lord in tithes and offerings.  Paying a full tithe is one of the greatest ways to bless the lives of others, increase our faith and receive countless blessings.  Being a full tithe payer should be a resolution for every member of the Lords church.  If this is a difficult thing to do, work on it.  Just like anything else, the more we work on paying our tithing, praying for help and having a desire to accomplish this goal, the more we will be blessed with a willing heart and faith to accomplish the goal.  

The gospel of Jesus Christ is the gospel of work. Elder Wirthlin says, "I believe that much idleness we experience comes from misunderstanding the Atonement of the Lord. We cannot simply sit around and do nothing and expect to be successful in spiritual or temporal things. We need to do all that is in our power to accomplish our goals, and the Lord will make up the difference."

His fourth key to happiness is to magnify our callings and be faithful members of the Church.

Elder Wirthlin says, "Some mistake the Church for a place where perfect people gather to say perfect things, think perfect thoughts, and feel perfect feelings. May I quickly dispel such a thought? The Church is a place where imperfect people gather to help and strengthen each other as we strive to return to our Heavenly Father. Every one of us will travel a different road in mortality. We will each progress at different rates. Temptations that afflict your brother may not trouble you at all. The Church is a mutual improvement society with the goal to help every son and daughter of God to return to His presence. 

One way you can measure your value in the kingdom of God is to ask yourself, “How well am I doing in helping others reach their potential? Do I support others or do I tear them down?” If you’re tearing others down, you are tearing down the kingdom of God. If you are building others, you are building the kingdom.

Another test of your worth in the kingdom is to ask yourself if you are actively engaged in magnifying your calling in the Church. When you magnify your calling, you don’t merely go through the motions; you challenge yourself to serve in the place you are called with all your heart, might, mind, and strength.

If you do not have a calling in the Church, will you go to your bishop and tell him you are anxious to serve, willing to put your shoulder to the wheel?"

Most faithful members I have seen leave the church including bishops and branch presidents left due to something someone said or did or didn't say or do.  I am sure that I have offended others, said the wrong things and if I have I ask for your forgiveness.  I want to share a story with your about a ward which I love with leaders who are amazing in all regards.

Last Christmas, Danny and I gave birth to a stillborn son, Carl Lavar.  We love him and feel he is very much a part of our family. When we were asked about his birth and burial arrangements we were also told that it wasn't appropriate to announce his birth in church.  It was such an little thing, yet something that meant a lot to me at the time.  As I sat in sacrament and heard about the birth of another child, I went home so sad, felt that our sons birth wasn't important enough or didn't go as it should have gone to be recognized as the blessing he was to our family.  

In my pain, I went home and prayed to the Lord for help.  I prayed that the Lord would lift my burden and make everything alright.  Through prayer, I recognized that this was a situation that was unique and different than anything the leaders had previously dealt with. Through prayer, I felt the Saviors love, understood their perspectice and felt the leaders love for me and the members. The savior was able to lift my pain and fill me with his love.  That night, as if divinely inspired, the bishop called, apologetic for the response given to us that day and wanted to announce whatever we deemed appropriate.  

They didn't do anything wrong that day.  They made the best decision in the interest of all.  That experience was a wonderful teaching opportunity for me.  I needed to recognize that sometimes things won't go as I wish or want in the church, but one thing is certain The things people say or don't say, do or don't do shouldn't change our relationship with God and Christ and our membership in his church. As we recognize that we are all striving to do our best, less feelings will be hurt and more love will exist.       

Fifth, Elder Wirthlin reminds us to enjoy the journey. The people of God are a joyful people.  We have so much to smile about, be happy about, yes, even to laugh about.

So many of us are always waiting to be happy. “If only I could graduate, if only I could afford a car, if only I could get married …” For too many, happiness is just over the horizon, never reachable. Every time we climb one hill, happiness beckons just beyond the next.

It is a terrible thing always to be waiting for tomorrow, always depending on tomorrow, always excusing our todays because we are sure that only in the future will we possess the things that will fulfill us.  Don’t wait for tomorrow. Don’t wait for the right job, the right house, the right salary, the right dress size. Be happy today. Be happy now.

Make up your mind to be happy—even when you don’t have money, even when you don’t have a clear complexion, even when you don’t have the Nobel Prize. Some of the happiest people I know have none of these things the world insists are necessary for satisfaction and joy. Why are they happy? I suppose it is because they don’t listen very well. Or they listen too well—to the things their hearts tell them. They glory in the beauty of the earth. They glory in the rivers and the canyons and the call of the meadowlark. They glory in the love of their families, the stumbling steps of a toddler, the wise and tender smile of the elderly.

They glory in honest labor. They glory in the scriptures. They glory in the presence of the Holy Ghost.

One thing I know for certain: the time we have here goes by far too quickly. Don’t waste any more time sitting on the bench watching life pass you by."

Brothers and sisters, I testify that this is true.  One of the greatest gifts I have been given in my life is the gift to be happy.  Danny and I have been blessed with certain experiences that have allowed us to see each day as a gift from God.  Our first son was born healthy and we took parenthood, milestones and the miracle of life for granted in many ways.  Our second son was born with a life-threatening illness that allowed us to see the miracle of life.  My heart is filled each morning as I hear him cry, recognizing the gift I have to be with him for another day.  Most importantly, we have been blessed to understand the significance of our testimony of eternal life, eternal families and temple convenants in our family that is made possible to all through a loving and merciful Savior.  

We are blessed to have this knowledge.  The world needs this knowledge.  It is my prayer that we might bring more people to this knowledge through our prayers, faith and lifestyles.  It is the key to happiness.  As we strive to increase our faith in him, set righteous goals, work for those goals, magnify our callings and find joy in the journey we will be blessed with the Lords love.  We will find true happiness and we will be better prepared for our eternal reward.  This is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.