Thursday, May 17, 2018

Mothers Day

Mothers day has been hard the past couple of years.  When my mom was really sick, it was hard because it was the reality that my mom's countless energy was confined to a chair.  She was trapped inside a body that didn't work and part of me mourned that for her. 

Then when she was gone, I pained for my dad and for us.  Knowing we were celebrating her legacy.  I am not one to get overly sad or emotional.  That is not my nature but the weekend always just seems a little off for me.  Sometimes I was able to attribute that to not having my mom and others times not so much.  Writing is my therapy.  When I realize I need an outlet I turn to writing.

Danny worked on Saturday.  I shuttled the kids to activities on Saturday and came back and worked on a business proposal and played with the kids.  Evan and Danny took the kids to the new avengers movie at night and I stayed home with Parker and Hanna.  It was a good day but also kind of a blah day.  They cleaned the home for me on Saturday which is my love language.  

Sunday morning we got up to Danny's french toast casserole.  I was fasting to give thanks that my shoulder was getting better.

I went to church and in years past I have realized that Mothers Day has always been kind of a grumpy day for me.  Part of it is missing my mom.  Part of it is wanting a break and never really getting it. The irony of mothers day.  I self reflected on that and realized that is not what I want mothers day to be.

I went to church with the kids. Danny offered to take Hanna but I wanted to feed her before teaching. It turned out I got her poop all over my skirt and shirt.  So I took of her clothes, threw out her shirt, cleaned up her dress, cleaned myself up and was ready for teaching.

After church the kids were all excited to give me beautiful plates they made.  It was sunny out and we took a picture together. We had the Claibournes over and Cynthia who both recently lost moms and we had a beautiful day and evening.

Yearning for Hanna for months made me realize how truly blessed I am! I feel complete with all my kids and am so grateful for all that they teach me and how they help me grow. I am grateful for all we celebrate on mothers day.

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