California McMillans

My mom was placed on hospice in May of this year.  She was given 2-3 weeks to live.  Those weeks were filled with love and peace, tears and sadness.  The greatest gift she was to be with her Jersey family who made flights at the drop of a hat to be with my mom.  I will never forget this sweet act of love and devotion.  It meant so much to my mom and all of us. The weeks turned into months which allowed so many people to shower my mom and family with love and kindness.  Phone calls, visits, cards and flowers all out of pure love never slowed.  They made her day and made her realize how loved and important she was.  These months summed up her life in a nutshell that was surrounded by friends and family and love. Our family became closer.  We supported each other, learned to laugh at our various quirks or needs.  How grateful I became for my dad, sister, Jason and Danny during this time.  Without their devotion, understanding and great sacrifice of love and kindness, we certainly woul

Saying good-bye to a loved one is probably the hardest thing we will do in this life.  It is filled with so many emotions; heart-ache, extreme loss, peace, comfort in the Savior, and  pain.  Pain of not being able to hold them again, look into their eyes, hear there voice and so much more.  Loosing a mom is essentially loosing your biggest supporter.  Someone who has been with you since the beginning.  Loves you unconditionally, no matter the many mistakes you make along the way. Drops anything to be by your side. I am so lucky I was blessed with my mom in this life.  I certainly don't feel like I deserved such an amazing mom as she was.  There was never a time that my dad, sister or I didn't come first in her life.  When I worked at Aquabears, she arranged her work schedule to go in early and even skip lunch, just so that it would be more convenient for me to not have Scott.  She flew out to Arizona at the drop of a hat when Heather needed her.  She flew to all my swim meets

Many people often ask how my mom is doing.  Some people wonder but don't want to ask.  They see posts on facebook which show the slow and drastic decline in her health. Writing helps me but I have been busy with writing a bible study and hesitant to write for various reasons. One, I just haven't had or made time.  Some of the reason is to be sensitive to others who might be going through something totally different. Lastly, it is hard to process your emotions let alone put them into words. Cancer is such a hard thing to see someone go through with chemo, radiation, an uncertain prognosis, loosing your health and faculties along the way.  My mom always remained so hopeful and optimistic, which was a huge example to me, but I know it was hard and scary for her.  It was so hard to see her lose her ability to be the mom, friend or grandmother that she always envisioned herself being and wanted to be. Everyone that knows my mom, knows that she is a bundle of energy.  She has e

Tyler had his annual cardiology appointment.  All things looked good which is such a blessing. I usually can tell based on Tyler's behavior and energy level how he is doing, but it is always a relief to hear he is stable and no surgeries needed for now.  Except for the expense, I love that his appointments are usually around Christmas.   It is always a time to reflect on our blessings and the miracle of life. He lives a very normal life.  He is doing great in school...actually amazing considering the rough start to life that he had.  He doesn't like doing PE because they run laps in the beginning so opts to usually just watch.  I am glad that he chooses what he wants to do.  Other than that he is your typical, energetic kid.  I want to sign him up for baseball, but he wants to do soccer, which of course wouldn't be a great fit for him, so we are still working on figuring out why he wants to do soccer.  He could probably get away with doing any sport at the level that a 6

Made it home from Utah late last night.  Heidi and Blake stayed in Walnut Creek with Jacquie and I took Scott, Tyler, and Kira.  We left Monday night and stayed in Reno.  The kids were adequately stimulated with the iPads (see Nitroblue Investment about one of the iPads) and did very well in the car.  Additionally, the van ran well and the driving conditions were ideal.  Now, some pictures: Mr. T playing table tennis.  He surprised me with his good ability. Dad and Scott playing the double shot The Ogden, Utah temple was demolished and this is the new one--almost done. Kira was none too pleased at the cold Utah weather.  I thought she looked cute in her coat, but we realized she didn't have any closed toed shoes.  I subsequently had to purchase her some from DI. There's lots of kid-friendly museums in Utah.  This one was in Ogden and had lots of hands-on activities.   I wanted the kids to see BYU campus and I was surprised that they agreed

Heidi was burned out from the kids.  We all went to the gym, and on the way home, she wanted to return some stuff to home goods.  The kids were all riled up in the van for the ride home but I can pretty much tune them out.  Scott whined about Tyler taking some toy of his and wanted Mommy.  I said, "What, do you want her to go back there and take back your toy?  No.  You can deal with your own problems."  At home, they were a disaster.  I said, "EVERYBODY IS GOING TO CALM DOWN!  WE ARE HAVING TWO MINUTES OF SILENCE!" "but Daddy," "Shhh." After shushing them for the first minute, we enjoyed the second minute in peace.  Man, one minute of silence.   It was nice.  When it was time to brush teeth, Tyler walked away from the bathroom and said, "But I'm going to show Kira something." "NO!"  I yelled.  He turned around and brushed his teeth.  Jeez.   Things are different with this generation of kids.  I told Scott that

It was my birthday weekend.  I always have high expectations for my birth week and a lot of that burden has fallen on Heidi.  I was talking to Steve this week and he said, "When you hit 30 or 35, your birthday becomes less about you and more about spending time with those you love." I had already ordered my computer stuff and my parents got me some memory for the macbook and an Alpinestars beanie, so I was pretty much set with gifts.  Then Heidi stepped up and made homemade snickers, rather than a cake, because that's what I wanted.  Then she surprised me with some household items we needed, like glasses, towels, ingredient canisters, and a stretcher for my silly back. My birthday fell on Sunday and I woke up early to stretch and get the bacon going.  I was determined to be happy, because even though it was my day, I was going to make everyone else's day good by being in a good mood.  You can't go wrong with bacon, and I also prepared french toast and orange j

Its been a long time blogger.  Thanks to my dear husband, we still have some memories of what is going on. Here is an update on life... Scott.   Scott is such a good boy.  He is a great leader, listener and just such a good son and brother.  He continues to be my emotional boy so I need to remember to be sensitive to his needs.  I pick them up on their bikes and everyone says hi to him; on the street, in their cars, wherever.  I don't know how he knows so many people. I am trying to teach him that he needs to respond.  He just did soccer, which he enjoyed.  He likes being with his friends.  His team this year won 1 game.  They had a lot of kids who were not athletic.  In the past he would have been frustrated of their losses, but while he wanted to win, it didn't bother him.  He simply knew that they weren't that good.   He had fun and always had a smile of his face.  He is also swimming which he enjoys and he can't wait for baseball to start up. Tyler .  For a whil

Saturday was the church's trunk-or-treat at Paul Krey's orchard.  Heather and Jason came and that was fun.  We ate chili, there were carnival-type games, and a spook alley.  Then the kids loaded up on sugar as they made the rounds of the cars' trunks.  Then the sugar withdrawal hit in the morning. Earlier this week, Tyler's class had a pizza party.  I picked up the pizza and helped the class.   After we ate, Tyler and I played on the blacktop.  Their game is called "kick-back," and I still don't know the rules, but while Scott and his friends were kicking it to me and my team, I kicked it real high in the air.  The kids were all going nuts about how high it was and the principal approached and said, "Hey, do me a favor.  Don't kick the ball so high.  See, cuz the kids raise their hands and then they jam their fingers."   So I'm getting in trouble even as a parent.   Heidi spoke in church today and

Soccer season is almost over.  Scott has been playing at Shady Oaks park in Oakley and the other kids like to play on this play structure.  The game this morning was early and the lighting was good so I took some portraits.   Tyler doesn't like having his picture taken sometimes and I have to do more candid ones.  He spends a lot of time with his iPad, which I guess is okay, given his diagnosis. Blakey looks like Scott and me with his squinty eyes.  Heidi's sad that he's no longer a baby, but I'm glad.  Let's get him outta diapers!  Yeah. Not their best smiles, but we don't have many posed pictures of them together.  All this while Scott played soccer. They got smoked.  Scott likes when the ball comes to him but he's not aggressive.  He's good at goalie even though he didn't goal tend today. Derrick has been a patient coach.  I wonder if he gets frustrated when the kids kick the ball the wrong direction or get caught s

The kids wanted to take pictures this morning.  Scott grabbed the original didge and started taking these.  I told him about composition and using the zoom, vs. just moving closer to his subject.  I was pleased with how he took these.  Well, he coulda moved over so Tyler wasn't right in front of the computer, but let's not be too critical.  I had to take several courses before understanding the importance of composition. Unfortunately, this newer ELPH's flash doesn't work. Then Scott wanted to use the ten second timer so we could all be in the picture.  Heidi wasn't feeling well, so she stayed in bed while I did breakfast, church preps, and piano.  Here's the little didge's timer shot. Next, Tyler asked to use the big camera, so we did a timer shot with it too.  I think it looks better, especially when you see it full size.   Here's Tyler trying to compose the big camera on the big tripod.  The kids wanted to do a silly shot,