My Mom's Last Weeks

My mom was placed on hospice in May of this year.  She was given 2-3 weeks to live.  Those weeks were filled with love and peace, tears and sadness.  The greatest gift she was to be with her Jersey family who made flights at the drop of a hat to be with my mom.  I will never forget this sweet act of love and devotion.  It meant so much to my mom and all of us.

The weeks turned into months which allowed so many people to shower my mom and family with love and kindness.  Phone calls, visits, cards and flowers all out of pure love never slowed.  They made her day and made her realize how loved and important she was.  These months summed up her life in a nutshell that was surrounded by friends and family and love.

Our family became closer.  We supported each other, learned to laugh at our various quirks or needs.  How grateful I became for my dad, sister, Jason and Danny during this time.  Without their devotion, understanding and great sacrifice of love and kindness, we certainly would not have gotten through this time with the peace, happiness and joy that we were able to share and feel.

A couple of weeks ago, it was evident that my mom was tired.  She had a hard time talking, could no longer get out of bed and her quality of life greatly diminished.  She had fought for so long and so hard; I am sure because she wanted people to know how much she loved them and didn't want to leave. She lived for her family and pushed with every fiber of her being to continue living for them. That is just who she is and why we love her so.

When it got to the point that she couldn't interact with her family, that we could tell life was just so hard for her, none of us wanted to see her suffer any longer.  I could connect and feel her spirit, but she had distanced herself from this world and these relationships; I am sure preparing for the next world.

I had a great conversation with her the Tuesday before she passed.  My kids magically played with each other upstairs, my dad had gone out for a couple of hours and my mom was amazingly present and able to talk unlike she had been able to do for a few weeks.  I will forever cherish this last real conversation with her and feel like it was a true gift from a loving Heavenly Father and a loving mom.

The family was all together the Sunday night before she passed.  My sister, her family, my dad, Betty and Bob and our dearest friend Pete.  I know that is what she wanted.  I spent the night at her home with my family. Danny got up early to go to work.

Her breathing was more labored and rapid. I asked if he would give her a quick blessing before leaving for work.  I felt the power of the priesthood blessing like I had never before felt.  She was blessed to reflect upon the beautiful life she lived, have a quick and painless transition and be welcomed and surrounded by family members on the other side.

The breathing continued to become labored.  My dad and I gave her some morphine and other medication to help calm her and drain fluid from her lungs. She began to call out to her mom, repeating, "mom, mom, mom" over and over again.  I know her mom was on the other side waiting for her and ready to give her a big hug.

I stepped away and returned to very slow, spaced out breathes.  She took two very slow breaths and peacefully slipped away. Her passing was as peaceful and calm as can be.  I didn't even acknowledge that she passed.  Maybe in some ways she was still there, present in spirit for a time.   The room was peaceful.  Her body lay there, no longer suffering from the pains of cancer.  No longer needed for her mortal sojourn.  Her spirit was free.  I envisioned a glorious reunion on the other side.  I knew how hard it was for her to loose her mom and I can only imagine how wonderful it was to see her again.

I will forever miss her, but grateful to a ministering angel so close by.  An angel who I know will watch over, love and protect my mom just as she did in this life.