Woodlands

Originally, we were looking for homes closer to Northgate.  It is the same middle and high school as Woodlands the a little bigger homes.  We put an offer on Comanche that was already in contract.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized how convenient it would be with working and living in the same neighborhood.  Convenient for the kids to ride back and forth to our home and pool, convenient for me to bike or run to the pool, amazing to be in my sisters neighborhood with a smaller elementary school which might be really nice for my kids. 

We looked at some homes which Danny hated.  I get it because I looked at a couple homes in Northgate, some really nice, that I just didn't like.  I left one that was so nice but I hated it. I felt a horrible feeling.  I knew it just wasn't right.   I am so grateful for prayer.  I prayed to be guided and knew we were being guided.  What was most important?  A home where my family would be happy and surrounded by great relationships to help them become the best people they could become.  I consider Danny and myself to be simple people that are pretty minimalistic.  Neither of us had a list of what our home needed to look like or include.  We wanted one with enough space but not too much.  A more open floor plan would be awesome.  A home that could be filled with friends.  We walked through this one and loved it.  The yard!  The location! It was remodeled and expanded. Most homes in the Woodlands would be a little too small for a family of 6 but this one was perfect.  We both just felt good about it.  I am sure the market will correct soon.  It can't keep going like it is going but we felt like if we found a home we liked, we should go for it. 

Buying a home in this area is so different.  A lot of realtors place homes for sale 50-100,000 lower than they actually expect to get.  It allows people in that price range to make an offer and people in the actual price range to bid it up.  We knew before even putting in an offer that they were going to counter everyone who submitted an offer. We offered a little over, but realized it was stupid to go way over because that will just inflate the price.  Not everyone had that logic and of course people went way over, which I still don't get.  So we put in a price we thought it would actually sell for and the family supposedly liked us so chose us compared to another offer.  People put in offers with no contingencies.  We had a couple but really shortened them. Anyway, we feel great about it. It really will be the perfect home for us.  Great location, great home, close to my sister and my work, great neighborhood, great yard.  So sad to leave our current neighborhood and home which we love but feel like it is the right thing and right timing.  We have always let the Spirit guide our decisions and know that this is where we are supposed to be. We have no idea all the whys and reasons but are at peace that it will all work out.

My Mini Me

I wish my parents were still alive.  If they were alive, I am certain they would be able to relate to parenting Parker.  Relate to how tiring it is to raise him, how he is always on the go, relate to his outbursts of emotion and also relate to the incredible things he can do.  They joked that they stopped because of me. In reality, I am sure that if miscarriages and horrible pregnancies weren't their reality they would have had more kids. Being my parent was difficult.  There was a reason I went from school, to gymnastics, to the pool, to soccer.  There was a reason I was suspended in elementary school.  There was a reason I didn't have many friends as a kid.  I never remember being tired.  In contrast, activities game me energy.  Being with people gave me energy.  In some ways, I am the same today.  I could always go.  I was impulsive and reactionary.  I was a difficult kid.  I was Parker.  As I listen to podcasts and do research on ADHD, I feel I have learned so much about me and Parker.  It is hard to be the parent to these kids.  We are doing our best, jumping countless hours on a trampoline, riding bikes, going on hikes and yet our kids keep going.  Their little brains jump from one thing to the next.  In time, these skills will be bridled and great tools in life.  In time, he will learn how to deal with these giant emotions.  I am grateful for him and what he teaches me.  I am grateful we live in sunny California where he can best thrive.  I am grateful for very patient friends who help and support me and him.  He has a hard time sitting in our little co-op and 2 weeks ago, an amazing friend gave him some dirt to find the hidden worms.  He loved it.  He succeeded.  Last week another amazing friend let him sit with the older kids for a hands on science lab and he loved it.  He sat, listened and best of all gave me hope.  There are parents who will look and stare and think and maybe even say what a horrible job I am doing.  Judge him, judge me, judge my family. I am grateful for confidence to know that he was sent to the best family for him.  Grateful for the journey to better understand others.  I truly believe we are all doing our best.  Life is hard at times but it is also great.  Here's to a journey full of lots of prayer and lots of hope that Parker and I will both grow in our journey.  What a beautiful world it would be if we could all have a little more compassion for others, lest judgement and the idea that everyone is different and perhaps everyone is doing their best.  If we were all like my friends who instead of judging and distancing, draw in closer to support, love and help raise my kids.  For that I am so blessed!

House Hunting

We are looking for a home in Walnut Creek.  Originally, we were just looking to buy the home we will stay in to raise our kids but then I had the thought that maybe we should buy a home closer to the pool I am working which is a very cute neighborhood but doesn't have that many bigger homes.  We could live there for a couple of years and be so close to the pool and elementary school and then rent it out in 2-5 years, see what happens to the market and then buy a bigger home.  I am a minimalist and feel I would be happy with whatever but then I question what would be best for our kids.  Home that needs some work is good because everyone can work to get some home projects done which I think is good to learn the value of work. Bigger home gives us a little breathing room, easier to entertain, but so much more to clean. We shall see...

Well, we put an offer on the smaller home.  I liked it and Danny not so much.  He liked it because I liked it and I didn't like it because he didn't like it.  I guess that is what marriage looks like after 15 years.  Compromise but thinking about the other ahead of yourself.  Your joy can't be totally full if the others isn't.  I wouldn't have been excited if we got the home, knowing he was only excited for me.

So we put in an offer.  Not super strong offer and not super high knowing it would probably go to someone else which would be a relief.  If we got it, we would know it was meant to be.  Got a call that there is someone willing to borrow 1.1 or 1.2 from their parents to pay all cash for the home right away.  I was so happy that someone loved the home that much.  It made me happy for them and relieved for Danny.  It is crazy that small, fixer uppers go for over a million dollars.  But makes me feel much better when I look at homes and realize that the 2 bedroom, 2 million dollar condo has to be in the area Danny works and sure enough it always is.  He loves his patients and I am grateful they apparently have money to buy a 2 million dollar condo and hopefully money to continue to fix their teeth.  LOL!

The house hunt continues.     

Ski Days

Blake and Kira got ski passes to Sierra at Tahoe.  Shawna takes them on Fridays.  Blake really likes it and Kira kind of likes it.  I think she would be happier going on intermediate lifts but everyone wants to go on Diamonds so it is hard for her to progress and really enjoy it when she is a little out of her comfort zone. 

This Friday, a mom organized a homeschool ski day.  I didn't think I was going to go because it is really hard with Parker and Hanna.  I was really hoping Parker would learn last week but he was so stubborn and just wanted to fly down the mountain fast and not learn.  When he fell, he would yell at me of why I made him fall.  It was exhausting. 

I decided to go last minute since I had so many amazing friends, some skiing and some not that said they would help with Hanna. 

I was on a lift last time with a ski instructor and she said that with some kids you tell them they can do whatever they want for 1/2 the run and then they have to do what you want for 1/2.  All Parker wanted to do was go down the huge terrain park.  Someone showed us a little kid terrain park and it was perfect for Parker.  An answer to prayer.  I took him down the 2 small jumps and he went flying with me and then he had to do the rest of the run himself and learned.  By lunch he was skiing independently and by the end of the day he was turning, stopping, and was doing great.

Shawna and Greg took hanna skiing until lunch and then she hung out with Bonnie and her kids after lunch.  She had a great time.  I feel bad asking people for help, but am always so blessed when friends are willing to help claiming that they are so happy to ski or hang out with her.  These are moments I really miss my parents.  They would have loved to ski with my kids.  Loved to hang out with them.  When those moments come, I recognize that the Lord has placed amazing friends in my life to parent alongside me. 

Heidi came with us.  It made the car ride so much better!  So grateful for friends.  I got my social time in.  I asked Danny this morning if he ever wanted to ski with us and he said not really.  He said it isn't fun to not be able to do what he could once do.  Heidi was saying how fun it would be to go with adults and I told her I don't think it would be that fun for me because I would want to do things that I would be too afraid to do now or definitely hurt myself doing.  Now my joy is seeing my kids or other kids learn a new skill and gain confidence. 

Highlight of the day, besides Parker being willing to listen, was seeing Laurel and Jim.  We probably skied 20 years ago together.  Last time we went together we were going off jumps and I went first and skidded to a stop seeing my life flash before my eyes.  Laurel was going to go until she heard my alarmed, death scream not to go.  She said she knew I was serious with that.  It turned out it was pretty much a rocky cliff we saved ourselves from.  Now with 9 kids between us, those days are over.  LOL!  Oh to be young!  It was just a couple of minutes as they headed into lunch.  We had just had lunch and gone out to the slopes and Parker wasn't having it to stop again.  Made my heart so happy to them! 

Bummed I didn't get a pic with the whole group.  There was about 5 families that went and the kids had a great time.  Tyler didn't go.  He had two tests and was in charge of a dance at school for ASB. He also felt so sick the last time he went so his skiing days are probably over.  Maybe he would do ok in the elevation but probably not ok skiing and that is ok.  Glad he realized it doesn't make him feel good.

   

Purple Belts

Blake and Kira received their purple belts today.  They earned them 2 months ago but we couldn't go to the ceremony.  It is amazing how much they have learned in less than a year.  Their confidence,  discipline and leadership.

Martial arts was an answer to prayer for Blakes anxiety. When life was too hard to do organized sports and he had too much anxiety for anything, we patiently got him into martial arts.  It was a struggle in the beginning.  I would never know what the day would be, how the drop off would go.  Some days he went in ok and other days I sat there with him, we watched, we waited and we were lucky if he made it to 10 minutes.  After a month, I decided to pay for an entire year.  Part of me thought it was crazy to commit to something for a year but the bigger part of me knew that on the hard days and hard months I would just give up and let him out of it and that would be the worst thing for him.  It was such a positive place.  It was full of encouragement with so little pressure that I knew this is where he needed to be to regain his confidence.  It was so hard to see as a mom.  With time, he went with more ease.  Now, a year later, he scooters with Kira and usually looks forward to going.  He always says he has a great time afterwards.

During his ceremony today, he was all smiles and all confidence.  He was having fun.  He felt proud.  There is no better feeling and I was so proud. It is amazing how much they learned to get out of holds and how to defend themselves.  I don't watch them anymore so it is such a difference after a couple of months to see how much they have learned.

 The best part of homeschooling has been the relationship that Kira and Blake have gained together.  The kids are starting to ask to do other sports and we are planning on moving so our time at Max is probably coming to an end.  I am not sure they will keep doing martial arts but forever grateful for our time in this great sport.  Forever grateful for helping then gain great skills and friendship.  This week, the owner came up to me and told me what leaders they have been and how they are always willing to help others learn.  That was one of the best compliments I could have received.

It has helped me be a better coach.  It has helped me realize all I really want for my kids activities is to see them gain great life skills.

Come Follow Me and Bows

I am grateful for Come Follow Me.  I really do feel like it is inspired and exactly what our family needs.  The New Testament was great last year but I have had a harder time implementing it this year.  I think we just need something new.  I was asked to talk about how I teach my kids the scriptures in Sunday School on Sunday and it allowed me to reflect on how we do this.  Quite frankly, I often feel like I am not doing a great job but reflecting made me realize that we are doing an ok job.  Definitely room for improvement, like always, but I do feel like we are striving to teach our kids.

I feel like I am not doing a good job when I think about us sitting reverently around a room reading our scriptures or learning something.  My kids don't sit.  At least Parker.  It usually ends with me wishing it went better.  But I reflected and realized we usually read the lesson and incorporate the thoughts and lessons throughout the week and I think that is what Come Follow Me is all about.  Being at the beach and telling the kids to imagine what it was like for Nephi and his family to build a boat and somehow have the faith to leave their country and the miracle of making it to the promised land.  The ideas our in our thoughts from the reading, the implementing and really making it come to life happens in small moments that the spirit teaches a real life lesson.  That is far more impactful than sitting and reading about Nephi and I think that is the whole essence of the program.

Cindy did an informal bow making project at the park.  That is way more impactful than sitting and reading about Nephi making a bow. 

Danny has read his journal to the kids for years each night.  They ask for him to read it.  It is really cool that Scott asked for a workbook to keep a journal.  He reads his scriptures and writes in his journal each night.  I am not sure what he writes about but this it is such a great form of therapy and self reflection.  That is why I still blog.  This is the only record I have of our family.  There is so much I forget about.  I hope someday my kids will be able to see the good, the bad, the mistakes and the resilience of life.  Parenting isn't easy. Life isn't easy.  It is full of things we wish we could have been better but that is the amazing miracle of life! 

This is Creekside Park.  I am going to really miss all the amazing parks in Brentwood.  We are so blessed!  I love the last one of the kids just being kids.  They disappear into the dried up river bed expect for when it rains.  Then we come home with muddy kids but always an adventure. 

Moving

We put on offer on a home in Walnut Creek.  It seemed like a great home for us but after months of sitting someone put an offer on it.  We put in a back off offer knowing that it would have been so rare for anything to happen to the first offer.  After 2 months, the home finally closed to the other people. So many emotions of should we have acted faster, was it just not meant to be, maybe it was a good learning lesson for when the right home comes along, will we find a home that has everything that home had. 

There were things we loved but also things we would have changed and I just keep praying that we will find a home that will be everything we love.  I have never bought a home with the intention that this will be our forever home but I feel like our next home could be that.  One day I am sure we will downsize when we don't have tons of kids in our home.  I feel like we know what we want and don't want.

It is hard to the know the right timing of things.  I took a job in Walnut Creek that I definitely feel great about.  I am excited for the team, to be with my sister and her kids.  My kids are so blessed to be with cousins.  I think it will be a great fit for our family.  The one thing that I sometimes worry about is balancing my kids but then I realize there are great preschool programs in the area and that makes me excited and I know they will be blessed!

So I just patiently pray that the right home at the right time will all work out.  I really feel like the market will correct in a year or two.  You never know but the market reminds me so much of 2006.  If we find the right home, we will make an offer, but if we don't find the right home we will just wait. I had so much anxiety after we bought in 2005 at the height of things but we were in a totally different financial situation.  Now, it would be nice not to have to buy high but in the scheme of things it doesn't make that much a difference.

Now our kids wellbeing and what is best for them comes first.  I feel very blessed that our decisions can be based on what is best for them and allowing the timing to be placed in the Lord's hands.