My Mini Me

I wish my parents were still alive.  If they were alive, I am certain they would be able to relate to parenting Parker.  Relate to how tiring it is to raise him, how he is always on the go, relate to his outbursts of emotion and also relate to the incredible things he can do.  They joked that they stopped because of me. In reality, I am sure that if miscarriages and horrible pregnancies weren't their reality they would have had more kids. Being my parent was difficult.  There was a reason I went from school, to gymnastics, to the pool, to soccer.  There was a reason I was suspended in elementary school.  There was a reason I didn't have many friends as a kid.  I never remember being tired.  In contrast, activities game me energy.  Being with people gave me energy.  In some ways, I am the same today.  I could always go.  I was impulsive and reactionary.  I was a difficult kid.  I was Parker.  As I listen to podcasts and do research on ADHD, I feel I have learned so much about me and Parker.  It is hard to be the parent to these kids.  We are doing our best, jumping countless hours on a trampoline, riding bikes, going on hikes and yet our kids keep going.  Their little brains jump from one thing to the next.  In time, these skills will be bridled and great tools in life.  In time, he will learn how to deal with these giant emotions.  I am grateful for him and what he teaches me.  I am grateful we live in sunny California where he can best thrive.  I am grateful for very patient friends who help and support me and him.  He has a hard time sitting in our little co-op and 2 weeks ago, an amazing friend gave him some dirt to find the hidden worms.  He loved it.  He succeeded.  Last week another amazing friend let him sit with the older kids for a hands on science lab and he loved it.  He sat, listened and best of all gave me hope.  There are parents who will look and stare and think and maybe even say what a horrible job I am doing.  Judge him, judge me, judge my family. I am grateful for confidence to know that he was sent to the best family for him.  Grateful for the journey to better understand others.  I truly believe we are all doing our best.  Life is hard at times but it is also great.  Here's to a journey full of lots of prayer and lots of hope that Parker and I will both grow in our journey.  What a beautiful world it would be if we could all have a little more compassion for others, lest judgement and the idea that everyone is different and perhaps everyone is doing their best.  If we were all like my friends who instead of judging and distancing, draw in closer to support, love and help raise my kids.  For that I am so blessed!