Date Night

This guy had a date night with dad....they went to BJ's and had a pazookie and he talked about it for days following. Need to carve out more one on one time for these kiddos!  He went through a period that he was so stressed around Danny and there relationship is so much better now.  Grateful for date nights.

Science Day

I periodically look at an events page with free or cheap things to do in the East Bay.  It has been really nice not having sports on the weekend so we headed to Concord for Contra Costa Science Day.  Different groups hosted different stem projects like making slime, building a rocket, a map of mars with a scavenger hunt, underwater exploration and robot building.  The kids had a great time. 

Pumpkin Patch

We had a field trip at the Smith Family Farm which is always so much fun!!  Gorgeous day with these three munchkins and Parker's preschool.  Parker made a shirt in preschool and Blake wanted to make one right before going. So we used some regular markers and made a turkey.  It was fun and the boys had a great day. Parker chose a small pumpkin and loved to try to sit on it like the rest of the kids.  It was cute.  He has a sweet personality.  It is good to see Blake smiling in photos again.  He looked at photos this week and asked why he was never smiling.  I told him maybe he just wasn't happy.  Parker loved the animals.  He watched the bunnies and chickens for probably 30 minutes.  Great day!

Vacation Homes

Last summer I had a fleeting thought that a vacation home would be nice.  I thought about it for a day and realized I wouldn't want to go to the same place on vacation every time.  We live in an area where we can go to the beach, a lake, San Francisco, Yosemite, Tahoe, skiing all within a couple of hours.  I would get bored going to the same place so the idea fleeted. 

My best friend is moving from Utah to Sacramento area and when I saw pictures of her home I joked that she is buying my vacation home.  Part joking, part reality.  She is buying this beautiful home with a gorgeous pool, sport court, minutes from the lake and temple plus a family I love!!!  Vacation home in my opinion is around water, has a pool or hot tub, filled with friends or family to talk!!

I am grateful for such great friends. The day is always better with great friends.  The places that we are doesn't really matter, but friends make  I have been thinking a lot lately about the conference talks and fortifying my home.   After conference I reflected on a couple of things. We have a prophet who is an incredible man.  It is evident that he uses his time for good.  Not some of his time but all of his time for good.  I was talking to a friend today about how disciplined he is in his exercise, what he eats and how he uses his time.  As such, he has lived an incredibly full life.  There is so much time I waste on pointless things or things I could do better. I have seen and thought a lot about depression.  Blake was so angry this summer and I really thing it was a culmination of a lot of things but one huge factor was that he was not doing uplifting and edifying things with his time but sucked into electronics.  It saddens me to go places that are amazing places or places where human interaction should occur and somehow electronics has crept in. 

The town right next to us is on the water of the San Francisco Delta.  It is a mix of vacation homes, retired and young families.  A lot of the homes are on the water.  We have friends who have lots of toys and we spent time this summer feeling like we were on vacation that was 15 minutes away.  It was heavenly!I realize I am in my happy place with good friends and something to do.  Another friend moved into my vacation home #3 a couple months ago.  The kids spent the entire, beautiful day playing tag on the water.  It was amazing.  This is what I call a dream childhood! 

Here are some pics of our day....

14 years and soo much to learn

Lately, our morning routine has given me a lot of happiness and peace.  Homeschooling Blake has been a really great experience for me and for him.  We have our routines and I have learned to slow down a lot and just spend quality time with him.  There is nothing harder than having an uphappy kid.  Blake was UNHAPPY!  It broke my heart.  He was troubled this summer.

After a lot of reflecting I realized I needed to figure out how to get him happy.  Removing some of his anxieties and getting back to the basics of life was the tackle plan.  I stopped working, I pulled him from school and I decided I would just spend quality time loving him, hanging out with him and helping him learn skills to get through life. It involved a lot of tears, prayer and direction and I am so grateful for the changes we have seen.  He still has his anxieties and needs to learn to control his emotions but is happier.  And is learning the skills of life.  For that I love homeschool. 

On Monday we don't have much that we do and it is so nice.  On Tuesday, he goes to Vista Oak which we spend about 30 minutes to convince him to go to.  I debate if I should keep doing it or not.  Wednesday we do school in the morning, drop off Parker at preschool and then go play tennis and go to Willy's which is a sandwich shop.  Thursday we do a co-op which is so fun but Blake is usually too anxious to actually enjoy it or engage in the learning.  Again, it takes him 30 minutes just to warm up to the idea.  On Friday he had done ceramics which he really likes.  I feel like between the activities, learning and Parker's preschool everyone is getting their needs met and it is a great balance of social, school and one on one time.  It would be ideal if Blake didn't get anxious going to school but hoping in time that will improve.

The other kids get home and we get stuff done before Scott goes swimming and Kira goes to gymnastics.  I need to do a better job at getting their piano in.  I notice a big change in Blakes happiness so that makes me happy.

The problem is I turn into a grump when Danny gets home.  I realized it drastically on our trip to Los Angeles.  I was happy for 3 days and managed totally fine with the kids but as soon as he was with us I expected there to be another me.  Danny is a great dad, a great dentist, a great friend but he will never be me.  He will never parent like me and I am just coming to realize that that is ok and not something I should expect or get upset by.  We have been married for 14 years and I am just starting to realize this.  It probably got exasperated with having 6 kids but something I definitely need to learn.

When he got home, I would tell him about all that I did and accomplished, in some ways justifying a needed break.  Even if the day went great, I would still create this list of all that I did.  I didn't change his reaction.  Probably just wanted him to be away from my bad attitude.

The day he got to Los Angeles, I did the laundry and re-packed for the cruise.  Packing for 6 kids for Danny is overwhelming.  Partly because he doesn't pack but I expected him to be able to help or do half of it. So there I was getting upset that he wasn't another me.  I wasn't in a good mood and realized how I went from being happy and managing the kids alone but all of a sudden being angry and upset.

We were both not happy with each other on day one.  We talked that night and I realized I just need to change how I think.  It isn't healthy for either of us for me to always expect him to be like me.  He will never be me.  I don't think our marriage would work if he were me.  We both have incredible strengths.  We also have weaknesses.  Our marriage works because we are able to fill in for the weaknesses the other has and support each other in our strengths.  I have not been doing that.

So that is what I really want to work on.  I want to not expect Danny to be me or be able to manage the kids how I do.  I know that he does a lot of things way better with them than I will ever do.  I know I will be a lot happier and our family will be a lot happier.

The Beach

I took the kids to the beach for a couple of days before the cruise.  Danny only had off on Thursday and Friday so he was going to fly down on Wednesday after work.  We left Monday early morning with our boogie boards, coolers, and canopy.  I got a room at the same place we stayed last year which is right by knotts berry farm.  It has 3 beds, which has become a must for me.  It is affordable, has a nice pool and hot and worked last time.  I have realized that when I travel alone with the kids, being familiar with the location makes me more at peace.

We got there in great timing and the kids did great (for us--it is all relative) on the drive.  I didn't let them do electronics so they found ways to entertain themselves.  Parker kept trying to get out of his seat which was the most stressful part. We tried checking into the hotel but there were no rooms until 3 so we headed to Seal Beach and had a GREAT time!  I felt like I was at my happy place.  All the kids loved playing in the sand, going in the ocean.  Parker laughed and laughed and it was a beautiful day.

Got back to the hotel without meltdowns and slept great. Hanna is a champion sleeper when she is in the dark so I put her in a sliding door closet in her carseat and she slept the entire night which is such a game changer for me.

We went to Corona del Mar in Newport the next day.  I like familiar places and this is a beach I go to a lot. We went there because Tyler and Kira were a little scared to go out far in bigger waves at Huntington so I thought this would be great for them.  The waves were a little too small, but the beach was beautiful.  We were done around 4 and Michelle and Jared had gotten in and were about 30 minutes south from us at Treasure Island Beach in Laguna so we headed to meet them.

The kids were tired but we were all excited to see the Olsons.  I didn't bring the food down to the beach and was pretty ill prepared but wanted to spend as much time with them as possible since they were going to the Disneyland the next day.  We stayed about another two hours with no major meltdowns.  It was like a marathon beach day.

The beach was cool.  It was perfect for skim boarding so Scott had fun with his new skim board.  The tide would go way out and then come in from all directions which wasn't the safest beach for Parker and I didn't bring his flotation device but was too lazy to hike up to get it.  I should have prepared better. Overall, it was soo pretty but probably not a beach  I would go back to with small kids.  I felt like I couldn't really sit and talk with Chelle and Jared like I wanted but excited that I could catch up on the cruise.

The next day we were going to meet Glen and Janine for our third day at the beach.  David and Juliann were originally going to go to Disneyland but changed their mind and Lisa and Adam decided to come down a day early to hang out.  It was so fun once they got there.  Lisa and Adam actually made it from Las Vegas before the McMillans but we finally were all together around 12 or 1.  We had a great day.  The cousins had so much fun playing together, building sand castles and just talking, boogie boarding and hanging out.  The weather was perfect.

Around 3 or 4pm Scott said he thought he broke his arm so we packed up and went to Kaiser.  A couple of hours later he had a splint on his arm and broken elbow diagnosis.  He was worried he wouldn't be able to have fun on the cruise, but he got a blessing from Adam that blessed him to be able to have a good time with his family and make memories.  I kept assuring him that he was still going to enjoy the cruise because of the blessing.  I am so grateful for the priesthood.  I didn't know what would bring me the most comfort but those words were what we both needed.

I came away from the 3 days with a lot to reflect upon.

My mom likes to fit everything into a vacation and a day, which is somewhat in my personality as well.  Somehow in the past I felt like the more we do, the more we will get out of the trip.  I really don't love Disneyland.  It is so crowded and just not that fun to me but the Heidi from a couple of years ago would have wanted to go.  Not exactly sure why I would have wanted to go. It wasn't because it was where I would truly have fun, but more the idea of it.  When I asked the kids if they wanted to go, they all said no. They didn't need to think about it.  They just wanted to play at the beach.

I felt relieved and excited to just chill.  We didn't have an agenda of what beaches we would go to or how long we would stay.  We were just going to do what we wanted to do and had a great time.  When the kids were ready to go to the hotel in the evening, we left.  If they wanted to do something else, we would have.  If they wanted to go to the hotel pool, we would go.  If not, they didn't.  It was such a great feeling to vacation to really vacation.  Not have to fit in A, B, and C.  I felt like I was growing for the better.  I feel like I got to know Los Angeles and the beaches better this trip.  Traveling the PCH is so beautiful.  The different beaches are beautiful and different.  I am excited to make a beach trip an annual trip or two for us.  It is only about 6 hours away to LA and closer if we go to Santa Cruz or Pismo.  Grateful for where we live!

Seal Beach/Huntington Area

Corona del Mar/Newport

 Treasure island/Laguna with Olsons

 Huntington w/ McMillans

Level 3

Kira went to her first two meets doing level 3.  They start out the season with an intersquad meet that is a mock competition.  Kira was soo nervous!!  I thought she would fall off the beam about 5 times but she didn't and she made it through.  The next meet was in Sacramento and we drove with two of her teammates.  It was the BEST!  They had a great time talking in the back, hanging out, eating snacks and being girls.  Kira is surrounded by boys and loves hanging out with her girlfriends.  I loved being with their moms.  They are stunt/cheer coaches and it is fun to hear about their world and talk about kids, families, coaching, etc.  

Kira did great.  She was confident and had fun.  It was so neat to see her confidence after just one meet.  I didn't get to go to the next meet because I was at a swim meet with Scott but she did great.  She made a mistake on floor and was hard on herself but a great life lesson that it is no big deal.  Life goes on, everyone makes mistakes.  Overall, I was so proud of her.  

Before her coach left the gym, she had her level 4 skills but the level 4's didn't have them yet so weren't going to compete.  His plan was to have her start in level 3 and when her teammates were ready, she would finish the season with level 4.  When they started to compete, she really wanted to try level 4 but she didn't know the routines.  I thought the phase would end but she kept begging so I finally talked to her coach about it who formulated a plan for her to learn the next level and compete in December.  That meant she would stop competing level 3 and not go to state.  I left it up to her and she really wanted to do level 4.  I didn't know what she would decide because she loves her teammates but she didn't falter in her decision and has seemed happy.   So that is what she is working on.  I really didn't think she would stick with gymnastics.  It is a lot of hours and I didn't think she loved it that much but she really wants to learn new skills and is excited to learn the new routines.

I am proud of the life lessons she is learning of hard work, confidence and resilience.  I worry about the hours and balance of life so continue to be prayerful that she and I will both know if or when the hours become too much. 

Last week was the annual McMillan family reunion, cruise edition.  We boarded the Carnival Imagination on Thursday towards Ensenada, Mexico.  The food was the best part, both in quantity and quality.  

Informal buffet dining on the 10th floor

Blake and Mister had Pullman pull-down beds and they loved them, even though Mister fell out onto the floor one night.

Two hot tubs on board.  The kids spent more time in the hot tub than in the pool.

Group shot on the aft deck with remote shutter release and camera on tripod. 

Mr. Photogenic.

Formal dining in the Spirit restaurant of the 8th floor

It was amazing because you could order whatever and however much you wanted.  All of it was included in the cruise fare. 

Morning stroll at sea

Mini golf on the 12th floor

Sit-down breakfast in the Spirit restaurant

10th floor buffet

Welcome to Ensenada! 

Zip lining was our group's excursion.  As is custom in Mexico, you haggle the price.  I was pleased to get each ticket, including transport, from $47 to $32. 

Mister got to zip line but was too short to do the ropes course, so he and the other young kids just walked through the canyon to the other side. 

Final sunset in Ensenada during disembarkation.