Long story. Our condo had a toilet flood in December and we were told that the downstairs tenants didn't want to do recommended dryout in there bathroom for a month. They claimed they were happy with the bathroom but wanted a kitchen spot on their cabinet fixed which they claimed was mold spreading. We got someone in to fix the kitchen and lo and behold the spot they swore wasn't there prior to the flood and they could visible see spreading each daily was indeed not a result of anything having to do with water or the flood. There was no spot on the top of the cabinet or ceiling. As soon as they realized we didn't have to do the kitchen, they stated they wanted there bathroom redone that had no visible evidence of damage on the walls from the flood but had high moisture readings. They wripped out walls of the 1960 bathroom, found mold spots and redid the entire bathroom. Like $8000 remodel for old, gross, small bathroom. As well as 2000 for fans that this super expensive restoration company brought in that they turned off because they were too loud at night and they couldn't sleep. Grrrr....can you see the aggravation. Note to readers...DON'T buy an old, broken down condo with HOA fees that are the price of a house mortgage in some states.
I was given advice by experts and our property manager that I was not responsible for mold abatement and damage due to the delay. The landlords didn't think that was fair so we went to court to hash it out. I wanted to do mediation, but they denied it. I said I would pay for the further dryout but thought we should come to a fair resolution.
This all occured over Christmas and Tyler's surgery which added a TON of stress to my life. The first real time I had anxiety over something. They are good people, but in my gut I felt like they were just not being 100% honest about the entire situation. I don't think they were intentionally being dishonest, just taking advantage of a situation which I feel they had every right to take advantage of just in a more timely manner and got so wrapped up in there cause that convinced themselves of a slightly altered truth.
So we went to small claims court. We shall see how it goes. I didn't document everything in writing along the way so it was basically my word against there word. They claimed it wasn't fixed because I never brought someone in when in reality it wasn't fixed because they said they were happy. But I trust that the judge will be blessed with discernment. And if not, recognize that all I could do was be truthful and move on. Small claims court was actually not a bad experience. I remained calm and felt grateful for the opportunity to defend myself. It is pretty casual and pretty chill. I felt our judge was genuinely there to help everyone involved come to a fair resolution.
So here is what I learned in the process....
1. Don't buy a condo.
2. Get out of a condo whose downstairs neighbors have you do something drastic to your condo or there condo every few years. A couple of years ago they had us redo our floors which we did because of noise, They claimed we didn't put in the new flooring and made up the invoice because there was no noise reduction...I had to go back and send pictures.
3. It is time to sell the condo. Huge Blessing. I don't know if we would have ever made a decision we felt we should be making for a long time without this little kick in the pants to move towards selling our condo. The Lord works in mysterious ways sometimes.
While that was a huge life lesson, here are the real blessings. The ones that I needed to learn that made this whole process worth it.
1. Empathy. I prayed to understand my mom better who is going through cancer and thus anxiety. People deal with real, full blown anxiety. I had never had anxiety before. Sure I had worried about tests or surgeries, finances, if my kids would ever outgrow a naughty stage. But this was anxiety that kept you up at night worrying and consumed you that made you unable to function. I relied on the Lord and one day when I felt I learned empathy and the power of anxiety I prayed for the Lord to take it away and He did. I recognize that the Lord answers prayers. I recognize that I am soooooo blessed that I usually don't have anxiety. I have my fair share of trials, but I think anxiety would be a trial I just couldn't deal with.
2. Just Judges. How wonderful it is to have courts. I read the book of mormon and first hand can appreciate the importance and blessing of having righteous judges. Judges who will listen to both sides and come up with what they feel is the correct judgement. Of course the system isn't perfect. We are all human, some people lie, some people are falsely punished but it is a pretty incredible country we live and profession to be a part of.
3. Eternal Viewpoint. This has no eternal consequence. I was worried about money. Insignificant in the entire scheme of things. Danny gave me a blessing which said that the outcome is eternally insignificant. The first case we heard was a woman whose husband left her and spent 10000 on his girlfriend. It got dismissed to small claims court, but my heart went out to there kids and this poor woman who was dealing with something far more difficult than a flood. So grateful I have a strong marriage. So grateful the things that I am blessed with the things of great significant worth; the gospel, my marriage, my temple covenants.
4. Save. So grateful Danny and I are savers. This could have been way more stressful if we were not living within our means and saving for a rainy day.
5. Employment. So grateful Danny has a job that allows him to support our family. At times it seems unfair that I have friends who have been dealing with unemployment or underemployment for far too long. It makes me realize how much more I can give to help others.
6. The Lord places people in your path to help you. A friend gave us legal advice and I am so grateful for her taking the time to listen and give some suggestions. I am blessed with great friends who are always so willing to help. Reminder to always help a friend in need. Thanks Dani!
7. Get insurance advice. We thought we were adequately insured which we weren't. Great life lesson. Grateful it wasn't worse than it was.
8. Record Notes. Danny is so good at this because he is a dentist. I always thought he went a little overboard with his miticulous patient records. Not that I ever have seent them but he tells me how he makes sure to include the details so that when patients come back and forget what he suggested he can go right to the notes. I am a relatively naive person who always thinks that everyone is going to be fair and honest. I lent an ex-boyfriend money a long time ago and just assumed he would pay me back....wrong! Naive. I guess I didn't learn my lesson that time since I didn't record conversations or recap conversations in emails.
9 . I found a new favorite conference talk. Mountains to Climb. I love the words of the apostles. I can;t tell you how many times I read this talk and each time I was filled with peace and a reassurance that everything would be alright. Here is an experience he shares,
"So one night I prayed for a test to prove my courage. I can remember it vividly. In the evening I knelt in my bedroom with a faith that seemed almost to fill my heart to bursting.
Within a day or two my prayer was answered. The hardest trial of my life surprised and humbled me. It provided me a twofold lesson. First, I had clear proof that God heard and answered my prayer of faith. But second, I began a tutorial that still goes on to learn about why I felt with such confidence that night that a great blessing could come from adversity to more than compensate for any cost.
The adversity that hit me in that faraway day now seems tiny compared to what has come since—to me and to those I love. Many of you are now passing through physical, mental, and emotional trials that could cause you to cry out as did one great and faithful servant of God I knew well. His nurse heard him exclaim from his bed of pain, “When I have tried all my life to be good, why has this happened to me?”
I am not quite ready for another trial right now. I need some time to recoup, decompress and focus 500% of my energy on my family. That is the end of my novel. I am impressed if you made it this far. This is like a journal for me. I hope somewhere along the way you learned something from my experience. If so, it made this entire thing worth it.
I am grateful this is behind me and it is time to move on. Now we just wait for the judgement and pay what the judge deems fair. I am not worried about that. I shared my viewpoints and was honest and the rest is out of our hands. Grateful to move on. Grateful for the lessons. Hopefully I can remember them so I don't have to go through something like this again. The scary part is I know the trials of life just get harder. Sometimes I want them to just stop, but then I know that I probably wouldn't be growing as much and relying on the Lord. If it was just that easy to remember as we are going through them.
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