On Anonymous Comments

Spurred by three anonymous comments.

I got one anonymous comment on my blog that simply had a different opinion.  I realized that we have different morals in our household than most and many probably think I am different, which I am.  I am actually proud of that.  They weren't mean, just had a different opinion so don't really understand why they felt they needed to use anonymous but whatev..

But this is the one is the one that I just couldn't understand and the reason behind my post. It was downright mean.  I can't help but wonder why people feel the need to say mean things.  It was being mean about someone's teeth and why the mom didn't do anything about it.  Something she has 0 control over and I am sure would love to change.  My friend took the higher road and explained her situation better of having to wait for permanent teeth to come in.

I had the worse acne and teeth as a kid and I am not exaggerating.  If I had photos, I would show you.  You can't put braces on baby teeth or magically cure acne, so sometimes you just need to go through things as a kid that are tough.  And guess what....it isn't always devastating.  Sometimes the hard things we go through are actually blessings.  I learned to gain confidence in who I was, not what I looked like.  I learned to ignore the mean things kids say. But here is the thing...they were innocent kids who said these things...not adults.

I don't understand. I am not saying that I am perfect and haven't said things that offended others.  If I have I hope that my friends understand it was not on purpose like some peoples comments. And I guess I shouldn't judge because maybe people don't realize that this could be hurtful.

Most of my friends who get mean comments are the beautiful, talented, hysterical people who everyone loves.  My theory on their blogs is portrayed in mean girls.  People are simple jealous and want them to feel bad.

When you are attacking someone personally don't spit the words out and go and hide behind anon.  If it was just a different opinion I am sure the reader would understand.  If you can't say it in a loving but different opinion kind of way maybe you shouldn't say it all.  And if you feel you need to say anonymous, question why you feel you need to use that. There are certain situations where I am sure it is needed, but many situations aren't and maybe it is just that you are being mean.

I know this is the wrong audience because I have never had a mean comment.   I have had different opinions a lot. I actally had some mean comments a while ago that I expected because of a heated political debate.  It was kind of intolerant but I understood where they were coming from and grateful we could both have different opinion.

But lets get real folks, most people have some sort of tracker and can often figure out who you are if they really want to.

So that is my rant for the day.

Just be nice!

The Tigers

Danny took pictures for Scott's U-6 soccer team.  The photographer cancelled about a week ago so we just decided to go the free route.  The lighting wasn't perfect, but I think that they turned out great.  Aren't they a cute group of kids!  

Peri-acetabular osteotomy...PAO

Danny will have his right hip PAO on Friday. He started having hip pain as a teenager. His family doctor overlooked hip dysplasia and he was dismissed with, "don't be so hard on your body". He always felt his hips weren't alligned.

Educational moment....If you or someone you know is in hip pain GET IT LOOKED AT!! Go to specialists. Don't take "just deal with it" for an answer or wait until it gets worse. An x-ray was able to easily detect his dysplasia. Congenital Hip Dysplasia is usually treatable in infants and children. The older you get the worse it becomes. Your cartilage wears which can result in arthritis. Replacements aren't the best answer for a relatively young person since they don't last very long.  Be an advocate for your health or a loved one if you suspect hip dysplasia.

We had a miracle two years ago when Danny started to have severe pelvis and testicular pain. He went to specialists to figure out what was going and came back with the answer... hip dysplasia. He was told that if left untreated, his left hip would most likely become arthritic in a couple of years and unable to save.

His left hip was done two years ago. It was originally more painful and severe and now feels better than his right hip. This gives him hope for the upcoming surgery and recovery. His previous recovery was within normal limits. The surgeons cut a nerve and tried to repair it which caused a very painful neuroma. Danny couldn't take it one day, called the surgeon and they operated that week to sever the nerve. It made all the difference. He is planning all telling the surgeon to leave any damaged nerves instead of trying to stitch them up. The loss of sensation sometimes bothers him but nothing he can't live with.

He was in the hospital for five days. His surgery took about six hours. He was severly anemic following the surgery which caused an irregular SP wave in his EKG (a normal response). The neroma caused the most pain. He wasn't able to bear weight for 6 weeks, light weight bearing for another 6 weeks and was able to walk without crutches within 3 months. I think he was in bed for about a month with little jonts around the house.

He is excited to get the surgery behind him and be out of the daily pain that he lives in. He is in pain after walking 20 feet. He never complains but doesn't want to do anything that involves walking. We have friends who live in daily arthritis pain. At times crawling around the house because it is too painful to walk. We recognize that Danny is very blessed that their is a cure for hip dysplasia. There are so many diseases that don't have a cure yet . We are a family that truly understands the significance of all the doctors and researchers that spend their lives dedicated to finding cures to improve the lives of others. Thank You!


We have been blessed to be able to financially save for his surgery and time off work.  We are blessed and grateful for family that is able to help during recovery.  My parents will watch the kids while we are in the hospital, Danny's dad is coming out for a couple of days when he gets home from the hospital and we have countless friends who are ready to do whatever we need to make life easier.  


We will keep you updated.  

Here is some educational information on hip dysplacia and PAO....

Hip dysplasia

Hip dysplasia is a developmental condition that is often recognized and treated in infancy. It is caused by an abnormal development of the hip joint. Normally, the hip socket or acetabulum develops its shape in response the head of the femur. If the head of the femur is positioned abnormally, the acetabulum can form with an angulated roof that slopes upward. This can lead to increased pressures on the cartilage of the hip as well as a persistent tendency for the femoral head to slide in and out of the hip with daily activities. This mechanical problem leads to a greater tendency to develop arthritis in middle age.(See Figure 1 )

In younger patients, this abnormality can lead to increased pain in the hip as well as tears of the labrum. When this condition is diagnosed in adulthood and the hip is still in the non-arthritic phase, there is still a chance to intervene prior to full blown arthritis. Standard radiographs only show the damage in its final stages. Newer types of studies such as MRI (See Figure 2) can show early damage to the structures in the hip.

Periacetabular Osteotomy

The most successful, safe, and predictable of these operations is termed the "periacetabular osteotomy", also called the "PAO". It was developed by two ingenious surgeons, Professor Reinhold Ganz and Dr. Jeffrey Mast in the early 1980’s. An osteotomy is the surgical division of a bone and periacetabular described the application of the osteotomy "around" the hip socket or “acetabulum”. The procedure involves making a series of angular cuts on the pelvis, separating the hip socket from the pelvis and allowing free rotation of the socket in three dimensions. It has proven to be one of the most effective surgical procedures in the treatment of hip dysplasia in adults. The major advantage of the procedure is the flexibility of placement of the hip socket in essentially any position and the preservation of the stability of the pelvic ring. The ability to freely position the hip socket gives your surgeon the ability to customize the correction of the anatomy to the specific deficiencies of that pelvis.

Advantages of PAO
After PAO, patients can bear weight much earlier than with other procedures and females who undergo the procedure can have normal future vaginal deliveries rather than requiring a Cesarean section.


Recovery After PAO
Most patients require hospitalization for 3 to 4 days and can get up with physical therapy on the day after the procedure. Crutches or a walker are usually continued for 6 weeks until there is some evidence of healing of the osteotomy site. After the 6 to 8 week mark, if there is evidence of healing of the osteotomy site on the xrays, patients can resume weightbearing. In many cases, they may have some slight muscle weakness which responds well to physical therapy. By three to four months, nearly everyone walks without a cane. The most gratifying part of the operation is to see patients return to high level activities and occupations without even thinking about their hip.


Potential Complications After PAO
Although the PAO is a relatively major hip operation, in many ways, it is the safest in the long run. The biggest risks are from damage to the nerves, arteries, or veins that run in the pelvis. This risk is minimized by performing all the cuts with full xray guidance in the operating room as well as extensive experience with the operative procedure.

Soloist

We just had the primary program at church.  In our church the kids stay with their family during Sacrament meeting (which is usually a mix of survival and semi-organized chaos on our pew), followed by two hours of primary (kids are ages 3-11).  The first hour they meet with the junior primary (3-7) where someone is assigned a prayer, scripture and talk followed by a teaching activity and singing.

Danny has taught Scott to sing loud so that is what he does.  Tyler is starting to sing at home more.  Today Tyler asked to sing I am a Child of God in the car for a friend.  It was cute.  Tyler is working on staying out of trouble and often bribed with candy to listen and behave in Primary.  

So the primary program is a combination of the kids giving small teaching roles about a topic followed by a song on that theme.  As soon as Tyler saw Pop and Grandma he abandoned his class up front and came to sit with us, which is fine.  Someday he will sit in primary.  Last year Scott would rarely sing when the Primary sang in church.  He was too scared and usually stayed with us in the audience.  He maybe sang once as a sunbeam and it was a scary experience.  It didn't bother me.  Danny thought he should go up, but I believe that a kid will be ready when they are ready.  I guess we make a good team in finding a middle ground.

Well, this year Scott had a solo in the program and did awesome.  He likes to remind me that he was one of the two soloist.  He feels so good about himself and special.  I love that.

When they first asked I didn't know if he would do it, so I asked Scott and he said yes.  I realized the worse that would happen is that he wouldn't sing which would have been no big deal.  He sang a verse of Book of Mormon Stories all by himself in front of the entire congregation with confidence and his cute little Scott voice.  He did so great and everyone has been telling him how great he did.  Today someone asked him if he would do a solo at the Christmas concert.  It is so amazing to see how much a child can grow in confidence in just one year and the blessing of having so many supporters behind you.  If a child is given the opportunity to do something when they are ready, it can have such a positive impact.

There are so many things I am grateful for in our church and one of them is Primary.  Our kids have loving teachers who are so Christ-like.  They learn about our Savior.  Meet great friends.  And it gives them the opportunity to learn to speak in front of a small, supporting audience.  When kids turn 12 they speak in front of the congregation and I am always so amazed at how well they do.  I never went to primary and can see what a blessing it is for these little ones lives.  Thank you to all the Primary Teachers and workers who are impacting our kids!

The VERY BEST Day of Kindergarten

Scott got in the car after kindergarten beaming.  He got to do the share bag or pick something to share with the class.  He chose the Bandit, his RC car.  He told the class he got it at Tower Hobbies, keeps it in the garage and drives it a lot with dad.  The teacher let him drive it on the black top which was "SOOO cooool"!  He said he went so fast that rocks were flying and the entire class was cheering and yelling for him.

He loved it and kept saying, "Day 40 was the very best day of Kindergarten."  When I asked how he knew it was day 40 he said, "the President of the school (aka Principal) Mr. Jones counts the days and puts up a new number each day with a special key".

As soon as he got home he called dad to tell him about his great day and drew a picture so that he would never forget.  This is the first year that he actually likes to draw.  In the past he would just draw when assigned and now he actually likes it.  Pretty fun to see how their interests change with time.

Yeah for loving Kindergarten.  He is so excited to go and I couldn't be more grateful.  In bed tonight he said he can't wait to finish painting a house he didn't get to finish today.  I love that he looks forward to school the next day.  I was a stressed out kid and didn't love the elementary years, was totally lost in middle school and grew to love learning and school in high school and college.  I hope he loves the process of learning.

He is so into coloring up at school and so happy to tell me he colored up to the top today that he really wanted to make a color up chart for home.  We will see if I can actually stay on top of doing it.  We have chore charts that Scott really likes even though I often forget to put the pins on the accomplished tasks.  At the end of a period I just reward him with what I think he earned in his allowance.  At least the concept is motivating Scott.  Now I just need to do better at implementing.

General Conference

I love General Conference.  I am no longer in the season that I could sit and absorb every message, but it is a good season I am in. The bits and pieces of the messages that I hear resonate within and I recognize all the things I am doing well and can do better.  I leave a better person, awaiting the next conference in six months.

So tonight was the relief society meeting which was so good. Some points I really liked was how importanat it is to be a visiting teacher.  I love the two woman that I visit teach.  I have grown to love so many woman who have visit taught me and who I visit teach.  I loved when they said it is really about the depth of charity.  There is such a difference when visiting teaching is about loving and caring someone compared to making sure you get in a visit each month.  

Another point I loved was about charity.  When I was in the Northgate ward I had the blessing of being in compassionate service.  I have had that calling twice now and absolutely love it.  Probably my very favorite calling. While Scott was at school, Kira, Tyler and I would go and visit people and I loved it!  We got to know so many wonderful sisters and were filled with the Spirit.  My family will be the recipients of service for the next three months while Danny has a major surgery followed by Tyler.  I now serve within the walls of my home and recognize how wonderful it is to have the ability to serve and blessings of family and friends who serve.  Nothing fills you quite the same.  

Someone said something along the lines of helping others makes our own difficulties seem easier. It is so true.  It is humbling to go and serve and recognize how many people have some really difficult paths they are asked to walk.  It always make me realize all the little things in my life that we are so very blessed for.  The thing that I feel so blessed for is the Lord has placed these incredible woman in my life that go through trials I could never imagine yet never complain and find total happiness amidst their struggles because their relationship with the Lord.  I thank the Lord for placing these incredible woman in my life who give me perspective and really help me enjoy and recognize the many blessings we have.  

Elder Uchdorf gave a great talk about finding the best ways to spend our time.  So often we focus so much on things that don't need to be focused on.  I think I do a pretty good job of simplifying life but can do a better job just filling my time with the best things.  I loved that he said something like "If we spend our days waiting for the beautiful roses, we could forget the forget me nots that surround us.  Don’t close your eyes to the simple and elegant beauties to each days."  Danny and I often talk about how blessed we are that we are happy people.  Much of it is finding the day to day beauties in our lives.  There really are so many when you look for them!!

Great meeting.  I hope that we can watch next weekend in the hospital.  Danny will be drugged up and sleeping but I will just be sitting.  I will bring my laptop just in case their is service.  If not, we will have plenty of downtime the next couple of weeks.  

The Toy Skeleton

So in kindergarten they have coloring up/coloring down.  When the kids do something well they get to color up or make an unwise choice they get to color down.  If you color up 3 times you get to choose a prize and if you color down 2 times you get a time out.  Scott usually likes to tell me how he colored up and earned his prize, but Thursday was different.  Scott told me that night that he skipped a color when coloring up so he could get his skeleton.  I was sad he chose poorly and at the same time even more proud that he decided to tell me and make things right.

So we discussed that I was proud of him for telling me, that we all make mistakes and the main thing is that we learn from them and make them right.  The whole process of repentance and forgiveness is what we are all here for, right?  I said he should probably tell his teacher what he did and give back the skeleton since he really didn't earn it.  He was so scared and sad and disappointed in himself.  

He always wants to be his best self and is hard on himself when he makes mistakes.  He never needs to be told to go into a timeout just goes himself.  So he wrote the teacher and a note and wanted to say, "I am sorry.  Hate Scott."  He thought his teacher was going to hate him.  Oh that just broke my heart. I told him she would be so proud that he recognized his mistake and wanted to change it.

Time for a prayer as to what to do and how to teach.  We turned on Lds.org and listened to some great talks on forgiveness.  Stories of mistakes that prophets and others made and how they received forgiveness and moved on.  I LOVED them.  Hopefully Scott got something out of it as well. We went to school.  Scott was so nervous.  He handed over the toy said sorry and I explained what happened.  His teacher was so grateful and proud of him and Scott really earned the toy back by the end of the day.  We talked about the difference he felt of really earning it and not really earning it.

I fully recognize that parenting gets harder with age.  I am enjoying all my time with the innocence of my children and praying I make it through the teenage years when the decisions and mistakes become a little more serious and harder than coloring up one too many spaces.  

I was talking to a friend about a talk about parents being at the crossroads.  This is the blessing of being able to be at the crossroads.  Your children are able to talk and hopefully gain loving guidance to help them through this life that will make them happier more Christlike individuals.  What a blessing we had this opportunity to learn.

I am grateful for repentance in my life.  I am grateful for the gospel and prayer that teaches us right from wrong.  I am grateful that Scott has the most loving, wise and nurturing kindergarten teachers.  I am grateful for my kids and the opportunity to learn and grow as a parent and come to know our Savior and Heavenly Father better.