That's my boy

Scott at three years old riding Little Bike, the two-wheeler I got when I was three. That's my boy!

5 years, baby

12/18/09 was our five year wedding anniversary. We both worked and then Heidi's parents took the kids so we could go to dinner at Maria, Maria in Danville. So here's a tribute to my lovely, beautiful, talented, patient wife: I am grateful I found you. I am a better person because of you. The kids are blessed to have you as their mother. Thank you for putting up with my quirks. I love you. Here's how we were five years ago.

The Christmas Season

George Marks Hospital

had the neatest opportunity to participate in a palliative care conference at George Marks Hospital in Oakland. It is the first freestanding respite hospital in the united states. The goal is to provide respite, transitional and end of life care for families and their children. It has eight rooms, therapy rooms, a sanctuary and beautiful spirit!! What an amazing facility!! I wish all could feel the love within these walls!!

The panel went well. It is amazing how much you can learn from others experiences. Each time I come away feeling so blessed for my children and family. All three of us touched on how our perspective of life is changed for the better because of our children. One parent mentioned how sometimes you listen to others worries and realize what a blessing it is that your joy can come from the tiniest, insignificant things in life and that most things in life are not worth worrying about.

That is something that Danny and I have talked a lot about. I recognize that we are all have our unique challenges and trials and are all able to cope with them with different degrees of ease. I don't think that any of them can or should be compared or placed on levels of easiness because life just doesn't work that way. Sometimes the harder your life is, the easier it is as well because of perspective. With that said, I am grateful that my children, especially Carl and Tyler, have blessed me with an incredible perspective of what is important in life and what I don't need to spend my time worrying about.

The irony is that after these conferences I go to coach 9-12 year olds. I sometimes drive home from work and laugh about the contrast of my days compared to my nights. I go from seeing the joy of a mom whose child is severly handicapped to the dismay of parents whose child isn't training hard enough or in the higher group. Sometimes I just wish others can step into my shoes for a day and go to a conference or house like George Marks to gain the lessons that critically ill or dying children teach so beautifully of what is really important in life!

Updates

Fetal Echo looks good! #4 has no major heart defects.

Tyler has his echo tomorrow

I am feeling good. Yipee! My belly is huge at this point compared to past pregnancies. I guess that happens when you have no abs left to hide the little ones. Just grateful I am feeling good.

Looking for a house to rent.

Danny had a birthday and of course that deserves a whole post to itself! I love my hubby!

Scott on Little Bike

Scott riding Little Bike, Danny's first 2 wheeler. There are some things that dads are meant to do, like teach their sons how to ride a bike. It is so fun to see them having fun and reaching little milestones. So proud of our little guys.

Palliative Care Seminar

I had the opportunity along with another mom from the family advisory committee to be part of a panel on palliative care. The conference was for 60 multi-disciplinary staff. It was a great event where we got to share our children's story and how we, their parents, deal with, take care of and appreciate all that the hospital nurses, staff and doctors do for our children. I just wish I could represent a larger population and understand everyone's story to help staff interact and care for these children and their families.

Overall it was a great event and I look forward to more opportunities in the future. We are striving to put together quarterly panels with different topics. One thing that many people were interested in was receiving and sharing difficult news as well as the topic of caring for a woman who had a stillborn.

We shared our story, explained how we cope, how the child affected our lives, the greatest rewards and challenges, number one thing we would want staff to know. The greatest reward for me, as a mom, was treasuring life to its fullest and the greatest reward for danny, as a dad, was receiving the insurance statement that covered $800,000+ on medical expenses for one of Tylers stays....how different men and woman can be!!

Anyway, if you would like to share your story with me to gain a greater understanding, please do so. You can email me at heidi.mcmillan@gmail.com. The more we understand and more perspectives we have the greater tools this can be. I encourage all to get involved in family centered healthcare in there area to help make pediatric care a positive experience for all!!