Blessed

We were all enjoying the nice weather outside yesterday after church. We decided to take advantage of the kids being awake and took some pics. Kira has the largest smiles for the longest periods sometimes. This wasn't one of those times but we sure did get some cute ones. I love how Tyler crawls into her little bouncer to play with his cars. I don't think we'll get any family photo shoot with the boys without toys or candy anytime soon, which I kind of like because it shows the reality of our kids. Kira at 2 months....

Surgery Thoughts

Now that some time has passed I have let this whole horrible IUD mishap sink in, I am really upset over it. I understand that accidents happen and doctors aren't going to 100% the entire time. They try their best and I appreciate that. I am grateful for the hundreds of doctors and nurses that have blessed our lives.

With that said, doctors really shouldn't be pushing IUD's. In fact, it should be the other way around. I was set on using condoms, have dealt with them in the past and could continue dealing with them because I hate feeling hormonal on the pill. The doctor really, really suggested I try an IUD, insisting I would love it. So many people are doing it. It has little side affects, if any, etc etc and laughed when I told him my family are always the one in a million.

So, I have no problem if people chose to get IUD's, however, I do have a problem that doctors are out there trying to tell people that this is the best form of birth control and is great with little side affects. If someone is interested in one or options, the patient should ask and get an informed response, pluses and minuses. Not a biased, probably untruthful response.

I really have been involved in just pediatric care. A lot of the board, panels, research studies and reviews of pamphlets and such has been about patient/provider interactions. Well, this experience has made me want to be an advocate against IUDS and an advocate on how doctors should give information. Why are they doing these things that have these affects.

I am a little nervous about the surgery. It shouldn't be complicated, but hate the idea that it is floating around somewhere near my reproductive organs. Who knows the affects it has had on my uterus. It just aggravates me. The only peace that I get about the entire fertility situation is knowing that I can adopt if all else fails. I have peace that the Lord is over all and he is over the children I will be blessed with. It still just angers me to do this surgery. If I have trouble getting pregnant in the future I am blaming it on this stupid IUD situation. I hate that I have to do something over something that could have been prevented.

Part of me is kind of becoming a little pessimistic about medical situations. I am scared the surgery won't go well because things usually have complications with us. That is kind of sad that I have gotten to that point. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to think that our children will have something wrong with them because our other kids have, but you just kind of start preparing for the worst when you have dealt with poor diagnoses.

I talked with a couple of people today at church and one had a horrible time getting pregnant after getting it taken out and the other had this happen to her sister. This was probably over 20 years ago when they were having a lot of problems and are supposed to be new and improved, but are they really? Or has enough time just passed that they can market it to our generation because we don't remember all the lawsuits and horrible things that were happening to people and their babies. Unless you really do research, which I should have, you don't know the entire story about IUDs.

I have done research that has shown affects totally opposite what my doctor told me about IUDs. I learned my lesson.

Today in church we talked about Judges, the children of Israel and the pride cycle. People were talking about how bad things turn you to the Lord. I thought of a quote from Elder Eyring, how he is turned to the Lord and spiritually strengthened by remembering his blessings. So here are some blessings that I have realized amidst my rantings....

I didn't get pregnant while having a misplaced IUD which could have very well turned into a much more devastating result of loosing a child from the affects of the IUD on the child.

I am grateful that Danny and I listen to the spirit. I am grateful for prayer and knowing that the Lord is guiding our lives as long as we allow it.

I am grateful for my children!! I am so blessed. I love them all so much for very unique and special ways.

I am grateful that I learned to do my homework. I think if I really researched this and realized to expect the worst thing to happen to me instead of assuming it wouldn't happen to me I wouldn't have done it.

I am grateful for a loving husband who supports me and uplifts me.

I am grateful for amazing family and friends. I can't tell you how many people were willing to take the boys or Kira the instant they heard about this. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by so much love!! When the surgeon was asking if I could do it the following day or Tuesday, I knew I could do it whenever because I had so many people who I could have called and would have helped. People who I know would rearrange schedules for me and my family. That is such a blessing. I hope that my family and friends know that they can count on me like I feel I can count on them. It makes life so full!!

Demolition Derby

We went to the demolition derby at the state fair again this year. Great time. There weren't as many cars this year, a total of about 10 cars, so it wasn't as exciting as the first time we saw it but still a great show. The kids love it. Scott watches so carefully and Tyler loved when the cars blew fire out their roof. Our favorite got kicked out of the race and we are still unsure why. Mad driving and demolition skills. It really is strategic.

So Blessed with Friendship, Love and Gifts

I feel so blessed for so many wonderful friends and family that did so much to shower us with love. These are just a couple of things Kira has received. I wanted to post everything because it all means so much to me. Lately I have been feeling super blessed for the amazing friends I have. Sometimes when I am at the park or at a friends house, I think of moms who are lonely and realize how much I want to befriend everyone as well as how fortunate I am to be surrounded by amazing woman in my life!! Thank you to all my friends from near and far. Some who are my support day to day and others who I don't get to talk to as much, but who I know will always be there for me and me for them. You have all helped shape my life and help me aspire to be the best mother I can be. These gifts are daily reminders of those special people!

A lot of people wanted to throw me a shower and I resisted because I don't like being the center of attention. I used to love it and don't know what happened. I was weird and hesitant about receiving gifts before Kira was born, but have changed and been humbled the past couple months. I realize that people love to celebrate with you. In someways I didn't allow people to celebrate Kira. I am slowly but surely working on letting people celebrate my joys with me as well as help me with my struggles. I truly felt the love behind each gift I received. Two friends, who have both lost jobs and are on a budget, gave the most beautiful and simple gifts because they were full of love. How I learn and grow in life. I hope to be better at this in the future.

Grampy embroidered this blanket with Kira's name, Kris and Janine made beautiful blankets for Kira which she loves to be swaddled in, Pat made the coziest blanket ever, Adina made a gorgeous quilt with the best colors and textures and Julie made an amazing quilt. It is an "I spy" quilt with items found in the scriptures and the boys love it. And Jeannie made the gorgeous crocheted blanket. These people spent hours and hours making blankets for Kira out of pure love. Every time I wrap her in a handmade blanket I think of their love and friendship and feel so blessed! Can you believe these amazing blankets!!

Jenny, Heather and Adam ensured our little girl with be accessorized with style. Her head is so small that we are still waiting for most of them to fit. You will see many more to come.

Thinking of Em and her love for horses. I love gifts that remind you of the person who gave them to you.

So many friends gave beautiful clothes. I can't wait until she is big enough to fit into most of them. Little girl clothes sure are cute!

And shoes galore. Aunt Erika gave us these beautiful moccassins, Juliann made adorable slippers, Cindy and Denise found these adorable socks that I love and Madi and Amy gave these converse that are so cute. If this is an indicator of her shoe collection in the future we are in trouble. I think she has more shoes than I do.

Forts

My boys love making forts. Here is fort #1...Scott makes it and gets frustrated when Tyler accidentally ruins it. This happens several times in the fort making process.

Fort #2...The couch and footrests were perfect fort making materials. Scott needs a nap everyday but of course never takes one. We made a fort that was so big. I heard him playing in it for about 20 minutes than it was silent. He fell asleep inside and it was dreamy. I think I might be inspired to make one everyday. When Scott was sleeping Tyler took a bath and Kira layed on huge comforters in the bathroom and we read books for about an hour. It was so fun!!

IUD Gone Wrong - Surgery Time

I hate the pill because of hormonal affects. My doctor suggested an IUD, which can be easily placed, taken out, very convenient and with very few side affects. I have known plenty of people who love IUDs, but I knew that I would be the 1 in 3000 that something would go wrong so was somewhat unwilling and skeptical. He assured me not to worry about the rare rare rare side effects that he has never seen happen. I thought I would try it and if the hormones were like the pill simply take it out.

A month later, I felt the hormonal affects and hated it. Just like the pill, unneccessatily on edge since the day it was placed. Wanted to take it out, prayed and Danny and I felt, "take it out." I am so grateful for prayer! I am so grateful that Danny and I pray together and know that the Lord speaks back. It really is the most amazing blessing in this life to have. Got my appt...ran to my 850am "very simple and quick appt" with Danny and the kids. Danny was going to watch the boys before heading to work. I needed to be back by 1015 to watch my nephew, have a playdate and for Danny to get to work.

The doctor tried to take it out and literally started to sweat when he couldn't find it. That is when I knew something was wrong. He tried again to painfully search and no luck. He did an ultrasound and no find. A second doctor did an ultrasound and no find. They were going to send me downtown for a detalied ultrasound, but I asked if an X-ray could confirm if it was misplaced. We went for the x-ray and the stupid thing perforated through my uterus and is floating in my stomach or wherever it is. This isn't my x-ray but similar. Maybe a little higher on me. I asked them to email me my x-ray but they couldn't figure out how to do that.


Soo....surgery is scheduled for Tuesday sometime. I am added on the books so it will probably be late. They have to put me under a general, go in through my belly button, blow up my stomach with CO2 gas, make another incision in my stomach and try to get the stupid thing out. I should be at the hospital for about 6 hours and if all goes well make it home that day.

GGGGGGGGRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......That is about what I feel like. Can you imagine if the hormones didn't affect me, didn't go in to take it out and got pregnant in about a month. I think that just might have been too much to handle. I asked them if people get pregnant in my sitation and they said, "yes but it is very rare for the thing to go through the uterus to." Well it did on me, but No, I am not pregnant. I don't get a period until I stop nursing. My hormones aren't making this situation any better.

Wish me luck in surgery.

On a high note. Have you ever heard of a roaming dermatologist? Super cool and convenient. During my appt, I asked for a dermatologist referral and my OB said he would just call the doctor up. He came up, saw a mole that was itching me and changing, sent me down to the office, removed it on my back and off to biopsy. All while waiting for the second ultrasound. I asked if he could check all my skin and at first said I needed to come back. After I got the mole removed he said he had no calls so was willing to look at my skin and I feel like I had the quickest, easiest dermatology appt and have something that has been on my mind for a couple months checked off my to do list.

Kid Update

Setting up the mobile and Kira looking at it as it goes by.

Scott - 4 & 4 mon, Tyler 2 & 9 mon, Kira 2 mon and is so much more alert each week. She loves looking at her mobile and looking around. She gives the sweetest smiles when she sees me when she wakes up. I love it. It warms my soul inside and out. How cliche is that, but so true. Nothing compares to see an infant recognize and know that she loves you and feels comforted and protected by you.

She is such a sweet, easy baby. With two busy boys, it is nice to have a calm baby. She loves her baby bjorn and lying on your chest. She is such a snuggler and I love it. It feels like we have had her forever. It is easy for me to adjust to her and the baby stage, but harder this time around finding the time to spend quality time with everyone. I remember when I just had Scott and how your world revolves around just one little person in the day. He got all the attention. I think for a split second if she is missing out because I can't focus on just her and than hear all Tyler's doctors and therapists words that "siblings are the best therapy." Even though I am not just sitting and talking to her all day, she is there when we are all talking as a little family. She will be fine, just like every other third child in a family is fine and will be so blessed to have two incredible older brothers. What a lucky girl to have so much love in a family!

She will sleep the entire day in a front pack if you let her. She doesn't mind her bath time or tummy time. She is able to lift her head so easily since she was born because it is such a tiny little head. Her legs are really strong and she can pretty much sustain her weight on her legs, probably because there isn't much weight to hold up. I am hoping Heavenly Father sent us a little, calm girl to balance out the energy in our family. Danny and I are always on the go so I am partly to blame with their energy level. I think Tylers rests are because of his heart not his personality. So I am enjoying her. She sleeps well at night and wakes up 2-4 time a night which isn't bad. Last night she hit a new record of sleeping from 10-4. I have never had a child sleep 6 hours this early. It was AWESOME!!

Tyler is warming up to Kira. He is my independent and social child. Scott is still enrolled in "it will be ok for 4's" brought to you by me. He is great with other people, so attentive and quiet, and can become so upset with me or at situations with me. It is either one of those wonderful stages that we all look forward to as moms and will soon pass or an adjustment to the baby. I think it is the latter and we are working on just increasing our love and special "Scott" time which has worked wonders.

I now put Tyler down for his nap earlier, around 1 instead of my worktime which is 5-7, and it is actually really nice. Tyler is happier getting a nap earlier and it is so nice having time to focus on Scott. We sing to the baby, do art or other projects or play outside. Whatever Scott wants. I am learning that when you have three kids that are still at home it is so important to find time to focus on one at a time. It is just as nice for me to have that time with them. I think this will be the key for Scott. It is amazing what love can do. It really can change behavior faster and better than anything. He calls Kira his "cutie pie" and really loves her, but he still needs his time to know he is loved just as much and we can make time for just him.

Scott is just like his dad with friends and Tyler is just like me so far. Scott loves being with one or two close friends at a time. My active little man gets shy and kind of lost in large groups or when he is with a lot of kids. I kind of hope he stays that way. I had a huge group of friends growing up and we went everywhere together and were really close. I wouldn't change it and it was a really unique and special group who are girls that I love and know will always be there for you no matter what. Danny on the other hand has a couple of guys who he was extremely loyal and close to. I think when you have a couple really good friends, even one, you always have someone to lean on, be strengthened by and stay out of trouble with. It will be interested to see if their personalities stay that way. It is so fascinating to see your kids personalities develop. It makes you realize that so much of who they are was formed before they got here.

I will give an update on me and Danny next week. There is a lot to update, it is just never as fun to write about as little ones.

Maker Faire

Have you ever heard of the MakerFaire?? It is once a year and held at the San Mateo Fairgrounds as well as other areas in the nation. http://www.makerfaire.com/. We went and it was cool! Just imagine people with all different hobbies getting together and debuting what they made the previous year. Water balloon suits, crafts, heavy industry, water fountains, light, music, electronics, giant contraptions, crazy cars, robots galore. We walked into the music exhibit and saw robotic music that created lighting rods altered by the music. Danny liked the clock/piano sculpture. Some of these pictures are ours and others I just got from the internet to show you our day. Jacki once commented on why people take pictures at museums of fish when they can get a better one of the internet. was wondering why all these people take pictures of fish when you can get a better picture of the internet. I don't take many pictures but am so excited that I could find any picture from our day on the Internet to journal. It is amazing!! There were about 5 huge arena and the entire lot and walkways were filled with different exhibits.

Ukranian Egg robot. I made these eggs in fifth grade.

Lego Mania.

This is a tribute to Spain.

I saw this guy from Mythbusters, a show Danny likes. We actually didn't see him speak.

Most of the people were true artists....

Coke Zero meets mentos plus music = musical dancing explosion....

A shuttle in case you wanted a ride.

These people peddled to control how fast they went and how fast the music went. We actually saw a guy fly off this really hard. I couldn't help but laugh even though I felt kind of bad. He wasn't a young guy and the guy in charge was just yelling at the crippled man on the floor to get out of the way. I guess the sign that said, "enjoy the ride, you will certainly -- well probably, get hurt."

Flat stanley with the robots.

Scott and Tyler making lights.

A steam train that powered a snow cone machine.

I liked this clan of ghetto bikers that blasted rap, decorated their bikes with amps and streamers, and made a giant bike from two smaller bikes.

If you haven't been you should go. We went to a RC boat show with naval boats that was similar to battle ship. They shot canons or missiles at each other hoping to sink their opponent. It was cool, but a little slow moving. Overall, we had a good time. Poor Scott would have really enjoyed it but he had a migraine and hid in the stroller since his head hurt from the light. Tyler enjoyed some things but is still a little young. Danny enjoyed it but his hip was really bothering him. Someday my family will all be fixed and healthy.