That's my boy

Scott at three years old riding Little Bike, the two-wheeler I got when I was three. That's my boy!

5 years, baby

12/18/09 was our five year wedding anniversary. We both worked and then Heidi's parents took the kids so we could go to dinner at Maria, Maria in Danville. So here's a tribute to my lovely, beautiful, talented, patient wife: I am grateful I found you. I am a better person because of you. The kids are blessed to have you as their mother. Thank you for putting up with my quirks. I love you. Here's how we were five years ago.

The Christmas Season

George Marks Hospital

had the neatest opportunity to participate in a palliative care conference at George Marks Hospital in Oakland. It is the first freestanding respite hospital in the united states. The goal is to provide respite, transitional and end of life care for families and their children. It has eight rooms, therapy rooms, a sanctuary and beautiful spirit!! What an amazing facility!! I wish all could feel the love within these walls!!

The panel went well. It is amazing how much you can learn from others experiences. Each time I come away feeling so blessed for my children and family. All three of us touched on how our perspective of life is changed for the better because of our children. One parent mentioned how sometimes you listen to others worries and realize what a blessing it is that your joy can come from the tiniest, insignificant things in life and that most things in life are not worth worrying about.

That is something that Danny and I have talked a lot about. I recognize that we are all have our unique challenges and trials and are all able to cope with them with different degrees of ease. I don't think that any of them can or should be compared or placed on levels of easiness because life just doesn't work that way. Sometimes the harder your life is, the easier it is as well because of perspective. With that said, I am grateful that my children, especially Carl and Tyler, have blessed me with an incredible perspective of what is important in life and what I don't need to spend my time worrying about.

The irony is that after these conferences I go to coach 9-12 year olds. I sometimes drive home from work and laugh about the contrast of my days compared to my nights. I go from seeing the joy of a mom whose child is severly handicapped to the dismay of parents whose child isn't training hard enough or in the higher group. Sometimes I just wish others can step into my shoes for a day and go to a conference or house like George Marks to gain the lessons that critically ill or dying children teach so beautifully of what is really important in life!

Updates

Fetal Echo looks good! #4 has no major heart defects.

Tyler has his echo tomorrow

I am feeling good. Yipee! My belly is huge at this point compared to past pregnancies. I guess that happens when you have no abs left to hide the little ones. Just grateful I am feeling good.

Looking for a house to rent.

Danny had a birthday and of course that deserves a whole post to itself! I love my hubby!

Scott on Little Bike

Scott riding Little Bike, Danny's first 2 wheeler. There are some things that dads are meant to do, like teach their sons how to ride a bike. It is so fun to see them having fun and reaching little milestones. So proud of our little guys.

Palliative Care Seminar

I had the opportunity along with another mom from the family advisory committee to be part of a panel on palliative care. The conference was for 60 multi-disciplinary staff. It was a great event where we got to share our children's story and how we, their parents, deal with, take care of and appreciate all that the hospital nurses, staff and doctors do for our children. I just wish I could represent a larger population and understand everyone's story to help staff interact and care for these children and their families.

Overall it was a great event and I look forward to more opportunities in the future. We are striving to put together quarterly panels with different topics. One thing that many people were interested in was receiving and sharing difficult news as well as the topic of caring for a woman who had a stillborn.

We shared our story, explained how we cope, how the child affected our lives, the greatest rewards and challenges, number one thing we would want staff to know. The greatest reward for me, as a mom, was treasuring life to its fullest and the greatest reward for danny, as a dad, was receiving the insurance statement that covered $800,000+ on medical expenses for one of Tylers stays....how different men and woman can be!!

Anyway, if you would like to share your story with me to gain a greater understanding, please do so. You can email me at heidi.mcmillan@gmail.com. The more we understand and more perspectives we have the greater tools this can be. I encourage all to get involved in family centered healthcare in there area to help make pediatric care a positive experience for all!!

Joy School Halloween Party

Listening to the amazing Amy read a book. Amy is soo good with the kids. Scott's little joy school has the best teacher's aka mom's...we are so lucky!!

Cute halloween crafts the kids made.

Tyler and Jacob enjoying snack time.

The best part...making cookies with all the moms.

Parading and Dancing to follow....

20 week Ultrasound

Whole brain. Whole heart. 10 fingers and 10 toes. So far everything looks great. After three boys we decided to keep this one a surprise. We are so excited and can't wait to see if it is another little boy or little girl on his or her birthday. I sadly forgot to get pictures. They do say that with each child the pictures get fewer and fewer. So far that is true.

Track day

Miles and I went to the track in Fernley, NV, near Reno. I drove his Toyota MR2 with a 2.2 liter fuel injected mid-position inline four. He used our exploder with a 4.0 v-6 to tow his Caterham. I stayed in a 2 star casino for 34.99, but it was fine.

There were only 9 of us racing, and 2 were beginners. I didn't do too badly. My favorite part was dropping into second for turn eight, skidding the tail around, and regaining control like Lightning McQueen.

Some of the cars I was up against

Good old spicy chicken sandwich

Miles' caterham

A baby is on the way

We're having another McMillan due March 19th. We feel so blessed as we reflect on our countless blessings. I am aware of others who would do anything and deserve more than anyone to have a child. Sometimes life doesn't seem fair, but through it all, our trials and challenges seem to refine us in peculiar ways and make us who God wants us to become. We are hoping for a healthy baby, but at peace with what the future has in store. So far things look good. The heart looks good, the brain looks good and the little fingers and toes are oh so cute! We'll keep you posted on baby updates.

Therapy Views

Tyler graduated from physical therapy. He only went twice for an evaluation and his sweet therapist, who Tyler loves, was so happy with how he was doing. I have come to really appreciate and become an advocate for childhood therapy for kids who need it or parents who are concerned. It is so helpful and comforting to get advice from a professional. Sadly, the state is cutting back so much funding and so many kids are not getting the attention or help they need in schools and through hospitals. Something on top of my list to one day become an advocate for. I really feel that helping kids will not only help them strive but also save the state money in the long run. Sadly, the state just doesn't get it.

Casting Call....Or Not

So Danny emailed these pictures to this photo shoot worth $3000. They made the first round, had us bring the kids to the studio and needless to say, neither had ANY interest in taking photos for some random stranger! Didn't surprise me one bit. The photographer was doing everything to make them happy and knowing my boys, I told them that I didn't think it was for us. For now Danny will be the only McMillan in ads. All that really matters to me is that they make me smile when looking at their photos.

I'm free!

Yes, I'm off crutches! I got my 3 month post-op x-ray and evaluation done in Oakland, and the doctor was stoked. He said, "You look great. Your x-ray looks great. And you are totally healed!" He showed me the x-ray and I agreed. At 8 weeks, I wasn't too happy about how things looked. He told me to abandon the crutches and then said, "But don't run any marathons for three more months."

So what did I do when I got home? Fired up the VFR and took a cruise. Man, the VFR is so great. She is so powerful and responsive, especially after driving around the schlow Riv. I am stoked! This morning, I rode white lightning to work. Yessssssssss.

Park Day

We have found this tiny little park that is fun for the entire family. We usually get it all to our family which is kind of fun!

Getty Musuem

We went to the new Getty Musuem while in LA. Definitly worth checking out if you are ever there. They have pretty amazing exhibits and the grounds and buildings are amazing! Scott and Tyler loved the kids room that you could paint, trace, read and look through little holes to find surprises. Fun times.

Mr. and Mrs. Hansen

Fun at the Pool!

A Day in the Life....

Sometimes I take Scott and Tyler to the Oakland Temple while Danny goes inside. We walk around, play on the roof and watch all the movies at the visitors center. Scott likes watching them in Spanish. His favorite is a clip of a little disabled girl who finishes a swimming relay. Here are some pics of us waiting....

Afterwards we went to Costco for churros and lunch. Scott enjoyed riding the cart with Danny.

followed by two very tired kids. Tyler fell asleep chewing gum.

Flaming Gorge

Scott and I went fishing with my Dad at Flaming Gorge. We did catch a few fish. My plastic boat from my 21st birthday is still working, and Scott and I had a lot of fun with it.